Page 13 of Banishing Regrets

He made his way up the stairs to his bedroom. One tired foot in front of the other. His room was one of the largest in the mansion. Aside from his office, it was his sanctuary. No one came in here. The walls were white except for the outside one that had the brick exposed. The room was masculine in nature with sleek lines and dark colors for furnishings. There were no photos or personal trinkets, he didn’t need them, just a massive bookcase full of interesting reads. A large bed dominated the center of the room even though he was the only one who slept in it. He liked room to move. He had his own bathroom—it was also masculine in design with black and gold tiling. He’d completed the work himself, as a labor of love, whenever he’d been able to get away from the business of managing the pack. Many had laughed at the alpha doing manual work, but he’d found it therapeutic.

On entering his room, Kas removed his jacket. He placed it on a hanger and put it away in his closet. It was the finest tailoring, so it didn’t need cleaning after every wear. He was in the habit of getting his suits dry cleaned on a rotating basis every few weeks. He inspected his clothes: black suits, gray suits, pale blue and white shirts, and navy ties. There was nothing exciting about him since he’d become alpha. Everything was always the same. Maybe he’d get a pair of jeans next time he went shopping. A casual t-shirt would liven it up a bit. Mind you, it was unlikely he’d be able to go shopping for some time now. The war was here, and it would take all his time and energy to fight it.

He removed his tie and hung it with the others, neatly ordered on the rack in the closet. He snorted a laugh. He was thirty-six years old and had nothing other than his devotion to the pack. It could all be taken away from him in the next few weeks, and his legacy would be non-existent. He would be the man who gave up everything for his pack but still couldn’t save them.

His head hurt. He knew he’d never be able to sleep.

He needed to run, even though it wasn’t safe.

He made his way back out of his room and down the hallway where he was stopped in his tracks by the sound of quiet sobs. They were being stifled, probably by a pillow, but his exceptional hearing was still able to pick them up. He knew instantly who was making them.

Jane.

Anguish filled his heart.

He hated to hear her cry. He knew she’d been thinking a lot about the past, since she became a grandmother, and it was affecting her.

He knew he had to ignore it, though. His duty was to save his pack.

He had to walk away and trust that Brayden and Selene would look after her.

But his feet wouldn’t move.

They wouldn’t take him one step farther away from the door of the woman he’d loved since the day he’d first met her. No, his feet were taking him closer. His hand knocked at Jane’s door, and he opened it before she’d even had a chance to call out.

She was sitting on her bed and looked up at him from the pillow she’d been using to cover her face. Her eyes were red rimmed with sadness.

He couldn’t help himself. He shut Jane’s bedroom door behind him and was beside her in an instant. He pulled her to him and held her tightly in his arms as she cried some more. Gradually, her breaths evened out as he comforted her.

“I’m sorry, I’m just being silly,” Jane eventually spoke.

“No, you aren’t. Something has upset you, and I want to help.” Kas allowed her to move in his arms so she was able to look up at him. “Please, talk to me,” he pleaded.

“It’s silly.” She shook her head.

“If it’s made you cry, then it isn’t,” Kas replied adamantly.

Jane anxiously wrung her fingers together. “I’m so happy for Selene and Brayden. I see so much of myself in Selene with her strength, and Brayden looks so much like Heath. I just feel…I don’t know. I gave up after Heath died. I was scared to get close to someone again because I couldn’t handle losing them. I feel I’ve wasted my life. Being with baby Heath today has reminded me of how much I wanted a big family, but I’ll never have that now. I’m too old and terrified of the pain love causes.”

Kas hated hearing Jane’s words. She wasn’t too old for love. She was perfect and still young enough to have a massive family if she so chose, but she was too scared to take a chance, just like he’d been all those years ago…just like he was now.

This was his opportunity. He had the woman he loved in his arms, and no one was around to stop them…except, Brayden was here, the prophecies were all coming true, and his pack still needed him. He had to walk away from this. But he couldn’t, not while Jane wept in his arms. If he left her now, he’d never know what could have been.

It was time to put them first for once.

It was their time.

Even if it broke him later.

Kas reached out and wrapped his hand around Jane’s face. He gently pulled her head up so she could look directly into his eyes.

“I can’t promise you anything. Only fate knows our futures, but I’m telling you here and now I’ve no plans on dying. I’m tired of running from my feelings for you. I love you, Jane. I always have, but I knew destiny had other plans for us. Maybe this is our time now. Everything that’s happening with the shifters has brought us back together. Tell me to walk out of this room, please. Otherwise, I’ll stay, and the dynamics between us will change forever because I need to have you, to mark you as mine. I can’t hide from what I feel any longer. The war is here. My brother will not rest until the humans are destroyed, but you’re the one human I won’t ever let him touch.” Kas felt relieved the instant he spoke his emotional words. They’d been bottled up inside him for years. They’d tortured and tormented him every day, but they were out in the open now.

Jane’s eyes went wide with astonishment.

“Kas.” Her lips quivered. He waited for the rejection. “I didn’t know if I was blessed or cursed at first. I loved Heath with all my heart, but you were there as well. I’ve felt you inside me since the moment I first met you. I thought you hated me, though.”

Kas shook his head at Jane’s words. He couldn’t hate her if he even tried.

---