Page 124 of Until I Find You

“Would you be a good girl for Daddy?”

I sigh. “We said work and pleasure wouldn’t–”

“Just this once. Please.”

My phone buzzeson the bed next to me and I grab it. “Fine, but I’m still going to answer emails.”

Jack chuckles. “You are stubborn.”

“You love it.”

He kisses me softly. “I loveyou.”

I laugh and settle into his arms further as I check the text on my phone.

It’s a name I haven’t seen in a while.

Dave PI. Last we talked, I told him to pause on the investigation while I got Keiki in order. He said he’d touch base in two months.

Two months have flown by.

Haven’t heard from you in a while! Let’s talk about what comes next.

I swallow.

“What is it, baby?”

“It’s…the private investigator I’ve been working with. Circling back about getting back to work on finding my birth mom.”

Jack doesn’t respond for a few moments. He adjusts his arms around me tighter. “What are you thinking?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“That’s okay.” He traces his fingers over my forehead. “Relax…”

I can’t relax. I pull myself out of his arms and get up out of bed. I pace, each new thought propelling me forward. “What comes next? More looking? More disappointment? We’ve been doing this formonths.”

“That must be exhausting.”

“It is!”

Now that I’m pregnant, it’s already a constant ache that I haven’t gotten my house in order the way I wanted to before starting my own life.

But that means…

“I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

“You mean…”

“I can’t handle the stress and the disappointment anymore. And even if I find her, who knows? She still might not want to see me and now I’m–” My hand flies to my belly. “Now I’m pregnant, and it’s not just me, it’s us. We don’t need this.”

I stop in my tracks. “I don’t need this.” My mouth goes hot and dry. “I don’t needher.”

Jack watches me from the bed. “Are you sure?”

I find myself nodding even though my thoughts haven’t caught up with my actions. “I thought knowing her would give me purpose, but I’m–but now–” A smile bursts across my face. “I’m your partner.”

Jack frowns. “But you’re not just–”

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