Page 125 of Until I Find You

“No, no, I’m your business partner. We’re opening a company together, a big one, and it’s going to be amazing. I’m a businesswoman. And then, then I’m yourpartnerthe way you said because I love you and we’re–I’m going to be a mom too! I’m so many things now and none of them rely on me knowing who she is!”

It seems so simple now that I say it out loud. This whole time, I’ve been obsessed with discovering my roots, my identity through my biology. And I didn’t even realize that in the meantime I wasbecoming.

Jack rolls across the bed and sits up, holding out his hands to me. “Camilla, come here.”

I go to him, letting him take my hands.

“You’re not just so many thingsnow. You have always been so many things.”

“Not like I am now, not like–”

“I didn’t fall in love with the woman you are now, I fell in love with the woman you were then. And take it from me, the person who thought about you day and night and watched you every day knowing I couldn’t have you but wishing I could…you have always been so many things.”

“I…didn’t feel like it,” I say. “You made me feel like it.”

Jack moves his hands to my waist and pulls me between his knees, looking up at me with adoration. “Well, then I hope I make you feel like that every single day for the rest of your life.”

He lifts my T-shirt over my stomach and admires the soft curve of it. Then, he plants a lingering kiss to my bare skin.

My muscles unfurl, tension melting out of me. I didn’t know how much I had tied up in not knowing who my birth mother is. How much of my life I had staked on it. When I could have just been letting life happen. Enjoying it.

There are no more moments to waste.

“I will support you in anything you do or want, Camilla. You want a different private investigator? You want to keep looking? That’s what we’ll do.”

I cradle his face in my hands. “And if I want to stop? And I want to focus on making my life with you?”

“Then we stop. It’s as simple as that.”

Westop. Like he’s always been a part of this. Like any decision I’ll make, he’ll stand in with me.

“Our families are so excited about the baby. And they’ve already given me so much. Why do I keep searching for someone who might not want to give me anything more than she already has?”

My birth mother gave me life. A big sacrifice on her part. On her body. I don’t need more from her. I can find myself in everyone around me. That’s the way it’s always been.

I’m just seeing it now.

Jack’s eyes tighten on me. “I’ll give you whatever you want, baby girl.”

He’s giving it one more chance to make sure I’m not trying to make myself feel better because I’ve failed.

And I’m not.

It’s intuition. A feeling in my gut. It’s time to move on.

I lean down and just before I kiss him, murmur, “All I want I already have.”

I’m the luckiest girl in the world.

27

JACK

Keiki’s bustling.There’s a line around the block for our opening day. We’re having the Brooklyn coffee shop equivalent of a luau inside. Not to mention, plenty of free coffee.

I can’t believe this day has finally come. The shop is exactly as we envisioned it. Warm wood, sleek design, punctuated by native Hawaiian flowers and foliage. The staff is a well-oiled machine, in the bar and in the roastery, despite the fact they’ve been busy since the second we opened.

I’ve been working behind the bar for a good portion of it. I just want to make a good first impression and, since these beans are my babies, I’m feeling a bit protective of them.

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