Page 59 of Something Old

I know how amazing she is.

“Thanks.” I say, turning towards the beach.

The music is loud, and people are laughing and talking over it. They are clearly having the best time.

I stand to the side, near the bar, scanning the crowd trying to find her. It doesn’t take me long to spot her. She radiates beauty and catches my attention within moments.

But as soon as I find her - I see the man who is all over her on the dance floor.

Is that who she left me for?

She is wearing a soft, flowing summer dress that moves around her body in elegant waves like water. It looks incredible on her. She looks beautiful, like she belongs in paradise.

Her hair is pinned up in a high and messy bun. It looks like it’s been touched by seawater. A little wild.

The man laughs at something she said.

Jealousy surges like acid inside me. I want to tear him apart.

I want to walk straight up to them and smash my fist into his face and not stop until he’s choking on his own blood.

I grit my teeth, clenching my jaw until the muscles hurt.

I can’t seem to move. I’m just bolted to this spot, watching them.

But the longer I watch the more it seems that my first impression was wrong.

She is chatting to the guy, they are dancing together - and from his side - sure as shit he is doing his best to flirt with her - but she is keeping him at a distance. She is trying to share her attention amongst her other friends she is dancing with. She’s talking to everyone.

The guy moves closer to her again and places his hand on her waist, pulling her around to face him and every nerve ending in my body catches on fire as I get ready to walk over there and rip him to pieces.

But I don’t have to.

Because as he leans close to her - she places her hand on his chest and pushes him away, shaking her head. I can see she is being nice about it - polite - and I can tell, even from here, that her rejection hurt him.

She has turned him down.

Relief washes through me. She turned him down. So, she wasn’t with him. She wasn’t here to have some fun with another guy.

The guy nods a few times, smiles, and then walks towards the bar. He looks up at me with disappointment in his eyes.

He leans against the bar, orders a beer and then turns towards me.

“That didn’t work out as I had hoped.” He chuckles, his eyes void of the laughter spilling from his mouth.

“I guess you can’t win them all.” I reply.

“Yeah - but she is something special man. I mean, I have only spoken to her a few times - but sometimes you just know when you’ve found a really special one.”

His eyes fall and he stare down at his beer. “Anyway.” He sighs and turns his back on me.

I don’t go to Leora straight away. For some reason I am happy to just watch her for now. I think it is because this is the space between hoping that I can still make this work for her - and having a definitive answer. Somehow not having the answer - not being turned down - is easier for now.

But at some point, I will have to face this.

I drink my beer and watch as she dances with some people she knows, laughing a little, but not looking entirely like herself. There is a spark missing. A glitter in her eyes that was there when we first got married - before I hurt her.

It is my responsibility to make her smile again. Her real smile.

---