Page 60 of Something Old

The one I stole from her.

Leora turns and looks towards the bar. It’s like she is moving in slow motion.

Her dress floats around her body. My eyes are on her as she looks up and at me.

She freezes. I can see a look of panic in her eyes. But very quickly, so quickly I might even think I misread it, the look is replaced by defiance. A certain resilience.

She stares at me with confidence. Her eyes narrowed and serious.

I tilt my head to the side and one corner of my mouth curls up into a smile.

Surprise. I think to myself with a laugh.

She looks surprised. That’s for sure.

Leora sighs and tilts her head back. Then she walks towards me, her hips moving in ways that make it impossible for me to look anywhere else but at her.

“Leora.” I say, with a smile, when she reaches me. She ignores me, leaning against the bar. The barman comes straight over to her. “What can I get you Leora.” He asks.

“A gin for me and - whatever he’s having - um - another beer.”

Before she turns to give me her attention, I watch her face. She closes her eyes and takes a moment, looking as though she is gathering her thoughts.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Leora

Daniel just tried to kiss me. His hand on my waist, he pulled me towards him and then tried to make his move. I guess I knew it was coming, but I am still a little shocked.

I feel terrible, because I know what it’s like to be rejected.

But I am not interested in him, and I won’t lead him to think I am.

I press my hand against his chest and as kindly as I can I say. “I’m sorry Daniel, but I’m not interested in you like that. I’m married. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”

“Oh.” He stammers. “I didn’t see a wedding ring. I just thought - uh - ya no problem. I’ll - um - go get a beer.” He steps backwards, bumping into one of the other people. Then he laughs uncomfortably and turns away from me.

I don’t watch him. I immediately turn to the other people in our group. He must be feeling pretty horrible, and it won’t help if I just keep staring at him.

I know he’s gone towards the bar, and I want another drink, but I’d rather wait till he’s moved on. In the meantime, I can just keep dancing and chatting to everyone here.

I sigh, my heart feels so heavy.

I really wish Masaccio was here. But not. Because the real Masaccio is not who I thought he was and the one I dreamed up in my head doesn’t exist.

The one I dreamed up - he wants me. He was excited to marry me. The real one is cold and distant.

Finally, I can’t handle the music anymore. I know my mood will bring everyone else down even though I am faking having a good time, I feel heart broken. The few drinks I’ve had aren’t lifting me up they are making me feel more lost than ever.

I turn towards the bar, thinking maybe I’ll have one more and -

My heart stops. My body freezes.

Am I seeing things?

That - no it can’t be.

Masaccio.

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