Page 57 of Something Old

It’s a different world under the water. One where I can escape the heart ache of love.

Daniel swims over to me, always with that massive smile on his face.

We’ve been diving for about thirty minutes so far.

He’s a natural.

“This is incredible. Thanks so much for recommending it.” He says, lifting his goggles to wipe the fog off the inside.

“I know. I think I am going to dive every day until I leave.”

“Well, I’d love to join—”

“Shark.” Someone in the group screams.

Tony already warned us the reef sharks might make an appearance. I was really horrified when he said that, but he assured us repeatedly that all we have to do is stay calm.

That person scream - is not calm.

Dan swims closer to me and wraps his arm around my waist.

“Don’t worry. I’ll stay with you. Let’s head back to the boat.”

For a second, I’m frozen.

Fear gripping every cell in my body. But Tony’s reassurance loops in my head.

I shake my head. “I don’t want to get out.” I grin.

Dan looks at me as though I’ve lost my mind. I take a deep breath and dive under, swimming towards Tony and the rest of the group, looking for the shark.

The first shark I see is a young reef shark. Only about a meter long. And it is magnificent.

Yes, it’s terrifying. Just the idea of being in the water with a shark is terrifying. But the longer I stay and watch it - the more beautiful it becomes.

And there isn’t just one. There are about six of them.

I do as Tony instructs. I don’t kick or splash too much and if it swims near me, I remain controlled, facing it.

And I love every second of this dive.

By the time we are back on the boat I realize that this is the experience that shows me my true strength. The fact that I can be brave and strong and stay in control of my emotions no matter what happens.

After my week in Hawaii is over and I have to go home to Masaccio - I will treat him like that shark.

Beautiful and dangerous - something incredible to look at - but not something I should turn my back on. Or let my guard down around. I won’t kick or splash or draw attention to myself, but Iwill be watching and cautious at all times, that is how I will keep my heart safe.

I cannot allow myself to fall in love with him again. Or admit to it and let my heart feel it.

I will treat him like that shark, and I will stay in control around him.

That night, still on an adrenalin high from our experience with the sharks, the entire dive team meets at the local beach bar for cocktails and sundowners.

We are dancing and having fun, but my heart is still heavy. I do my best to push it aside. I hate the fact that I miss him.

I hate the fact that even in such a beautiful place I can’t stop thinking about him.

But it is what it is, and I will get over it.

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