Page 56 of Something Old

“I was calling you for a while.” He chuckles as he reaches me.

“Sorry, deep in thought over here.”

“Yeah, this place does that to you. It’s so beautiful. Listen - I took your advice and I’m going for a diving lesson this morning. There is a group going out with Tony at eleven—”

“Oh, I’m part of that group.” I point to them with a laugh.

“Really? Are you serious? Well, I guess that makes this my lucky day doesn’t it.”

I grin up at him as he stands there watching me. His eyes are bright and happy. His entire aura is relaxed and welcoming.

He’s an awesome guy. In another life I guess I could have fallen for someone like him. Tall, dark hair, dark brown eyes - a damn fine build -

But not in this life.

In this life I got cursed. I got to fall in love withand marrya man doesn’t want me.

“Well, then I guess I will see you there. It’s my third lesson. Tony is an excellent teacher. I was nervous at first, but he makes it easy.”

“Awesome. Ok. I’ll leave you to the rest of your walk. See you later beautiful girl.”

“See you later Dan.”

He makes my heart feel happy. But not in that love kind of way.

I turn my attention back to the sand, the sun and the bright blue sky scattered with white clouds.

As I walk, I compare Masaccio to Daniel. There is no competition. My heart, as stupid as it is, is with Masaccio. Whether I like it or not.

He’s just - he’s -

I sigh.

I need to let it go. Dammit.

I’m just hurting myself.

By the time I get back home I have to be in a different frame of mind. One where I don’t mind if he doesn’t care about me. One where I can live in the same house as him and not be tormented day in and day out by my stupid emotions.

I walk a little further along the beach and then turn back.

I’ll just enjoy my dive this morning and figure it out as I go along.

I have another four days in paradise. Then it’s back to my life - whatever that means.

The crystal-clear ocean water splashes against the side of the boat.

Dan and his friend from the wedding group and laughing and joking as they sort out their goggles and diving gear.

We don’t need wetsuits as it’s not cold enough, and we are diving with small handheld tanks because it’s just a beginner’s course.

I pull my goggles down over my face and sit on the edge of the boat, ready to jump in.

Tony shouts. “Every one ready?” Then without waiting for our reply he leaps off the boat and splashes into the water.

I jump in straight away.

I love this. I never knew I could feel this connected to the ocean. The salt seems to soak into my skin and improve my mood the second I submerge.