Page 85 of First Comes Forever

“Why are you lying to your best friend?”

Flipping over my phone, I check my notifications. Not a word. I’m sure if Amani had good news, I’d have a text message with the confetti effect by now. This time, I wish my gut feeling wasn’t so accurate, but something tells me Amani is alone, sad, and needs me. I need to wrap this conversation up.

“I don’t think she wants to make a big deal out of us in case things don’t work out. Plus, I didn’t want to make you feel worse by dating one of your ex’s best friends.”

Chase runs his hand down his face. “You don’t need to worry about me, Adam. I’ll be okay. Plus, I have this theory.”

“Being?”

“For a long time, especially back while I was dating Kayla, I was a bad guy—”

“You were never a bad guy, Chase. You were caught up in the industry, a little too fond of cocaine, and hopelessly in love with a wrecking ball of a woman who made cheating on you a sport. Sure, you coped with all the pressure and pain in reckless ways, but I’ve never seen you be cruel to another human being.”

“I was cruel to myself,” Chase says softly. “I didn’t do the things that fed my soul. I did the things that financed my career. There has to be a balance, you know?”

I nod along. “Sure.”

“Family is everything to Noa. So all I can do is try to earn her by being worthy of her. My daughter deserves a dad who is excited that she exists, not regretful. Regardless of who her mother is, that’smybaby, and I’ll spend the rest of my life protecting her and putting her needs first. Right now, that means making sure her mother makes it through this pregnancy safely. I’m trying to live like Noa would want me to. Maybe that will bring her back. And if not, at least I’ll know she made me a better person.”

I know Chase isn’t trying to accuse me, but his heartfelt explanation makes me feel instantly guilty. Eight years ago, I didn’t do what was best for my little banana. I coped with my heartbreak by anger and resentment. It never occurred to me to put what was best for Liv and the baby first. She betrayed me in the worst way, and all I felt was fury, not empathy.

“Kayla’s almost seven months along now, right?”

Chase shrugs. “Something like that. They count pregnancy months weird. Month one is before you even have sex—I don’t know. All I know is Kayla’s hips are hurting because she’s so little and the baby is getting really big. She’s having trouble sleeping. Jay brought her a walker thing to get around, and Cici bought some heating pads and rubs her back. For hating Kayla, you guys sure are supportive.”

“We supportyou, Chase.” I smirk at him. “Which is why I stopped calling Kayla the spawn of Satan.”

He laughs. “I’m sure she appreciates that.”

“There’s a pregnancy pillow that worked wonders for Liv. If her hips are hurting now, it’s likely she’s going to develop pelvic girdle pain. The pillow will help her get some rest.”

“Thanks, man,” Chase says, eyeing me cautiously, no doubt because I’ve probably mentioned Liv no more than five times in the past eight years. “I forgot how much you know about this stuff.”

“Can I ask you a question—man to man?”

“What’s up?”

“Was I wrong to leave Liv the way I did?”

Chase draws in a deep breath, then exhales. He reaches for the hat he’s not wearing. It’s his tell. He always pulls down the bill of his hat to cover his eyes when he has to say something uncomfortable.

There’s a small knock on the door before it creaks open. Ally, LMC’s receptionist, is red-faced and looks out of breath. “Adam, Chase, I’m sorry, but there’s another big meeting in here in five. I think the Sunset Bay room is open, though, if you need more time?”

“We were just leaving,” I respond. “We’ll be out in five.”

“Thank you,” she whispers and shuts the door behind her.

“Just say it, man. I can take it,” I instruct Chase.

“Well, it’s almost been a decade. When you think about it now, how do you feel?”

My eyes fall to the table, scanning the glass for fingerprint smudges. “Guilty,” I finally say. “Like I abandoned my kid.”

Chase nods. “I don’t think you did anything wrong with Liv. She cheated, then you left. But I think you loved that baby, even if she wasn’t yours.”

I hang my head as my stomach twists. A tight ball forms in my gut. “Her name is Summer, by the way. Liv’s cousin told me.”

Chase screws up his face. “Wait, wasn’t that your—”

---