Page 100 of Embracing Trust

She shakes her head. “You’re engaged to your pregnant girlfriend. I don’t think we can come back from that.” Her shoulders slump and her chin trembles.

“Let me start from the beginning.” I scoot to the edge of my chair. “When I came back from Afghanistan, I was a mess. I met Aubree and had what I’d call an unhealthy relationship with her.”

Julia pulls a tissue from her pocket and dabs at her eyes.

“I’m just gonna lay it all out. Our relationship was…the time we spent together was mostly a release from the pain of what happened to me overseas. Aubree was…what I’d describe as a physical comfort to me.”

“And you fell in love with her.” It isn’t a question.

I hold up a finger. “I never fell in love with her. I don’t love her, and I never have.”

“She’s your fiancée and she’s pregnant with your child.”

I shake my head. “She isn’t my fiancée.”

“Well, maybe not now, but she was. I was at your house. Your mother confirmed it.”

“She manipulated my parents. She told them we were engaged and then weaseled her way into their home.”

“And you just continued dating me, like nothing was wrong?” Julia sobs lightly and lowers her voice. “And I’m sure Brad and Mark thought it was hilarious—you with two girls on the stringer. I’m such a fool.”

“Hey, it was never like that. No one even knew about it except Patrick and Lydia. They helped me find an attorney to try and get everything straightened out.”

“So, she came back with you from North Carolina?”

“No, she didn’t come back with me. She showed up at my parents’ house after I’d been home a few months. Said she’s pregnant and I’m the father.”

Julia sighs and rolls her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? About everything. You’ve hurt me. You’ve hurt me so much.” She lacks her usual sparkle as if her joy for life has been smothered. “What do you want from me?”

“I want you back. I want you to be a part of my life—like we’d originally planned all those years ago.”

“After everything that’s happened with Aubree, I’m just supposed to trust you again?”

“I want to make things right with you. I know I haven’t said much, but it’s been rough since I got home. I’ve had nightmares and that day you tried to talk to me about it, I wasn’t ready. And you’re right about PTSD. I’m in therapy now and on some medication as well. I’m trying to get my life back on track and I want you to be a part of it.”

“I think it’s great you’re doing those things for you. Don’t do them for me.” She sniffles and wipes her eyes.

“I’m doing these things for us.”

Why can’t she see this? What can I do?

“I don’t know if I can take that risk again.” She clears her throat. “How do I know I can trust you?”

My heart drops like a concrete block. “I know, baby, and I’m sorry. I really am. I want to make things right with you. I want you to trust me. I want you to know youcantrust me.”

“What about Aubree and your child?”

“I don’t want to be with Aubree. And about the baby…I’m not sure if it’s mine or not.”

Julia tilts her head to one side, her brows furrow. “What?”

I shake my head. “Yeah, I know. It’s been…a mess.”

“What if itisyours?”

“Then I’ll take responsibility and I hope you’ll be by my side.”

Julia looks down, her voice small. “I’m not sure I belong by your side.”

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