Page 73 of The Shadow of Polaris

“I know,” he said.

“I thought I lost you today.”

“You didn’t. That’s all that matters.” His pinky returned the touch.

“I’m sorry… for everything,” I croaked, suddenly overwhelmed by guilt. By pain. By hurt. The isolation was too much to bear. Its weight felt as if my ribs would fold in on themselves.

I couldn’t stay afloat in the ever rising tide of this reality. If I held myself together for one more second, I would combust- imploding into the one thing I feared more than myself. The demon ran her claws down the back of my spine, begging for release.

“Me too. It was too much to expect from you. All your life you’ve been imprisoned. You’ve had your choices made for you. I just thought that maybe, in the end, you’d choose me.” His voice trailed off.

We were quiet for a while, letting the ripple of water fill the silent void between us.

“I have to choose myself.”

“I understand,” he said, pulling his pinky away. “Well, it’s late. You should get your rest. Gods know what tomorrow might bring.” He started toward the wooden gangway between our ships.

The place where his hand had been grew cold. I didn’t want him to go. More than that, I didn’t want to be alone.

“Wait,” I said, catching him before he took another step. “Stay.”

His back straightened.

“Please don’t go,” I whispered, reaching for his hand.

“Ell…” He turned to face me with an expression like a blade through my chest.

Before he could argue, I lunged for him, my lips meeting his with a frantic need. Of everything in the world, all I wanted, all I needed, was to fall into him and escape for a while.

Even if only for a second.

Throwing my arms around his neck, I pressed myself closer. The space between us faded away. For a moment, I believed maybe we were okay. Maybe nothing had changed.

He responded with equal voracity, running his trembling hands up my arms, across my collarbones, tracing the curve of my body with his fingertips. The taste of salt was bitter on my tongue. Tears streamed from my eyes. For a glimpse, I let go.

With shaking hands, he unbuttoned my tunic, letting the fabric slide down my arms, raising the hair on the back of my neck.

“I missed you,” he said, his words scattered between a trail of kisses. “I missed this.”

“Please, stay. Stay with me.” My voice wasn’t my own, breathless and ragged.

He watched me watching him. I wanted to be the fabric against his body, draped over every inch of him. The thin material licked up his skin as he pulled it from his shoulders. In the night’s paleness, his body was electric. Shadows painted around solid muscle, highlighting each solid crease and curve.

The second his tunic hit the deck, I pounced. My lips burned against his as the jolt of energy hummed between us. Our bodies buzzed with the power now flooding in. Aryx’s hands made their way down the curve of my hips, leaving agonizing anticipation on their trail.

“Elpis, I need you to hear me,” he whispered, his breath warm and sweet against my ear.

“Don’t talk. Just be here with me,” I murmured.

“Please, I-”

My touch cut him off. I knew what he was about to say, and I refused to unleash it into the world. It would change everything. This feeling, once a simple spark between two strangers in a tavern, had roared to life within me. I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, let it breathe the night air.

My hands trembled as I unlaced his trousers. Closing the space between us, he combed his hands through my hair, smoothing back the disheveled strands.

“Hear this. Please,” he whispered, his eyes now smoldering infernos in the night.

“I don’t want to,” I cried, continuing with the leather lacing.

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