Page 32 of For the Love of Lily

“Where are you off to first?” I enquired.

“Singapore, China and Japan are first three stops. I’m keeping it pretty open but want to get to Thailand, Laos, Vietnam. Undecided about Australia and that direction, think it might feel like a warmer version of here, with better beaches.” For the first time in so long, he smiled at me, and I saw it reach his eyes, he was excited about this.

“Look after yourself. I’ll worry about you. Have the time of your life, but come back safe,” I said.

“You stay safe too, Lily,” he inhaled a deep breath. “I can see you’re happy with Zack, and I know you’re close to his friends and family, but if anything went wrong, they’d be loyal to him. I hate the thought of you not having anyone to turn to if it goes bad.” He looked down, the sadness draped over him.

“You taught me how to be strong, Luke. I’ll be fine, you taught me so much.”

“Well, I think I missed the lesson where I taught you not to get drunk and offer to sleep with people.” His face lit up with mischief. “Don’t do that again.”

“I won’t,” I smiled. “I meant what I said though, my ‘what if’, my extremely pretty ‘what if’.”

“I meant it all too, Lily.” There was silence, then he put his book into his bag, his desk blindingly bare. “I’m going to escape now while it’s quiet.”

I nodded as tears streamed down my face, unable to speak. I stood to leave, and he twisted me round, wrapping his arms around me, just like he had so many times when I’d needed him.

“Stay safe, be happy. Promise?” He rested his chin on top of my head, not moving a muscle, as if trying to commit me to memory.

I was wracked with sobs. “You too, come home safe.”

The door closed behind him. I leant back against the wall of his now empty office and cried, pitiful, as if my heart had just erupted in jagged fractures.

I jumped as the door burst back open. Luke crossed the room to me, kicking it closed behind him.

“I can’t leave without doing this.” He took hold of my tear-soaked face between his hands and then, before I could even register what was happening, his mouth was on mine. My breath stilled as our lips touched for the first time. The very first time… One of Luke’s hands slid into my hair as he began to kiss me. Nothing existed outside of us.

He pulled me close as his other hand wrapped around me, my breath was taken away. It was the definition of being lost. As my teeth teased his lips, his tongue met mine in a divine exchange.

I scattered kisses along his jawline, my lips moving across his neck, feeling the tension in him as I made my way back up to his mouth, looking into his beautiful eyes. He kissed me harder. Forever lost...

I felt our wonderful friendship and how it could bloom into an amazing relationship given chance. The chemistry between us was molten, how had I never noticed it? My whole body was on fire as Luke pulled back, resting his forehead against mine as his hot, fast breath covered me.

His eyes looked down, but his body stayed pressed against mine, his heart thumping in time with my own. “I’m sorry. Please, though, tell me you felt that?” he whispered, almost imperceptibly, as though it could’ve been a silent prayer rather than a question.

I pushed his chin up with my thumb, forcing his eyes to my own. His pupils were dark and stormy against that beautiful blue which haunted my thoughts. “I felt that. I want to feel it again. Don’t apologise. Please don’t apologise.”

If time had slowed earlier, it now sped. All at once, his fingers tangled back into my hair, keeping my mouth pressed to his as we met in a frenzy that had been building up for eternity. I ran my own fingers up and down his back, feeling skin I hadn’t touched before, noticing how his muscles felt and moved under me. I was aware of his hand inside my blouse, reaching for new skin in the same way I had. Everything felt so new. It was as if the two of us were trying to catch up on all the missed kisses.

He pulled on my lip with his teeth, “Lily, we need to stop,” he gasped. I knew he was right, but his lips were setting off every single pleasure cell in my body, and it felt so good.

Speechless… I was lost for words as I watched him.

“Me and you, Lily and Luke, we were meant to be together. I just needed you to see.” Tears glinted in his eyes as he continued. “I know the way I feel about you is the way you feel about Zack, but I’ll always wish you were mine.”

“Please don’t leave, Luke. Stay. Stay with me.”

We both had teary faces as we pressed them together. “I love you, Lily, but I have to go.” He ran a finger over my lips. “I’ll always love you.”

He was gone. I sank down into his chair. Weak from the moment. Trying desperately to comprehend what had just happened. My hands trembled, my tears cascaded. How could he be gone?

After about ten minutes, Petra came in, her face full of concern. “Everyone’s headed home. Why don’t you go upstairs? I’ll close up.”

“Thank you,” I said as I wiped my eyes on the tissue she handed me.

“Do you want me to come up and make sure you’re OK? Do you want to talk?” she asked kindly.

I shook my head as fresh tears sprang. “I’ll be OK, thank you.”

---