Page 23 of Rolling with my Professors

I’ve never questioned my motivation before.

Beatrix must sense my stress level rising. She steps toward him, nudging his shoulder and motioning for him to leave. I divert my gaze.

“Don’t let him get to you. He’s a jerk.” Avery’s sweet, but she wasn’t out here for my big reveal. She doesn’t know just how messy this is.

Josh slumps away, then just as he’s getting in his car and I think the coast is clear, he turns. “I’m not giving up on you. I’ll prove that I’ve changed.”

Chapter 9

Rutherford

I stride into the conference room at the last minute, my stomach churning with a mix of anticipation and dread. The other professors on the scholarship committee are already seated. Breakout conversations keep anyone from noticing I entered—a welcomed rarity.

Gambling against the rules doesn’t normally bother me. Mila’s stake in this gamble is the problem.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road,” Professor Chen says. “We have a lot of promising candidates to discuss.”

As each professor nominates his favorite candidate in turn, my mind keeps drifting to Mila—impeccable grades, strong extracurricular activities, mainly because of her youth outreach with the roller derby team. She’s the clear front-runner.

The growing list of students the other professors are recommending makes me wonder how much I’m biased. The weight of our secret hangs on my conscience. What we have shouldn’t be a secret. I want everyone to know she’s mine. I just don’t know that she’s ready to accept that risk.

Professor Chen drones on about his favorite candidate. I nod along, barely listening. My thoughts are a tangled mess.

A tangled mess…exactly how I think about Mila’s body intertwined with Sterling’s and mine.

“What do you think, Rutherford?” Professor Chen’s voice snaps me back to reality. “You’re new to the committee. Any fresh insights?”

I take a deep breath, steeling myself. “I actually want to bring attention to one particular candidate, Mila Halloran.”

Having everyone’s attention, I continue. “Mila’s passion for exploration is truly commendable… um… I mean, she thrives on pushing boundaries… and takes the lead on group projects, always making sure everyone’s needs are met.” I clear my throat. Should I continue walking this tightrope?

“Is that all?” Dr. Chen’s brow furrows.

If I’m going to advocate for her without revealing my personal bias, I better stick with the basics. “She’s shown exceptional promise in her coursework, and her extracurricular activities demonstrate she’s a well-rounded individual who could greatly benefit from this scholarship.”

And she makes me want to settle down, be a Daddy to more than just her, become the man she and our children need me to be… the exact opposite of the life I enjoy. How can such a sweet young woman do that?

The discussion continues, eliciting nothing more than mumbles and nods from me. This scholarship could make a real difference in Mila’s life.

But if our secret ever came to light, she’d have to repay it. I’d repay it for her. Sterling would do the same. There’s no real financial problem. It’s the shame I don’t want her to suffer. And she hasn’t allowed us to talk about a deeper, committed relationship yet.

I exit the conference room, needing to take things to a deeper level than mind-blowing sex with Mila. She got the scholarship. It’s what she wanted, but it ties us even tighter to secrecy.

I pause to fish my phone out of my pocket. I can’t wait to give her the good news.

Professor Chen stops beside me. “Not bad to get your recommendation chosen your first year. Your keen eye is an asset to the committee.”

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. The screen on my phone lights up with a text message notification from Mila. The preview says: Let’s keep this fun.

As I’m tapping my finger to the screen to swipe the message away, another alert pops onto the screen, right under my finger. I accidentally open it instead.

I’m staring at Mila… and not much else… just a carefully placed arm and teasing camera angle.

Fuck!

My breath catches. She’s sprawled across silky sheets. The desire to hold her and make love to her surges through me. Thoughts of lovemaking aren’t so unexpected… but just holding her, being with her. It hits me—I love her.

Shit. Did Chen see? How long were my eyes glued to the screen?

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