Page 136 of Possess Me! (I Want You To)

I spared one last glance at my family before I pulled the cap on more firmly, and turned toward the waiting siblings. By the time I traveled those last few steps across the driveway and pulled the sliding door on the van open, I felt like I’d aged a thousand years. I climbed into the back row beside Prudence, staring at the distant figures of my family members still standing sentinel on the porch. They all waved at us. Badly out of sync. And hilarious. Betty flipped me off, and I smiled.

Violet’s eyes were knowing, sad.

She raised a shaky hand.

“I’m sorry,” she mouthed, her painted black lips tipping up into a mournful little smile. “Love you.”

“Love you,” I repeated silently, raising my hand to return her wave, even though she couldn’t see me.

Despite all the hurt between us, I knew when I came back, she’d be waiting. She’d pick up my broken pieces just like she had before. She’d crawl into my bed beside me, and fill up the cupboard with my favorite cereal. She’d put on an episode of Supernatural with a lot of ass shots, and she’d let me cry my heart out.

Because that’s what best friends were for.

Chastity was so short her head was blocked by the back of her seat as she put the car in reverse, and peeled out of the driveway. Vanity hissed out a breath, clutching her seatbelt tight. “Jesus. Drive much?” She laughed and Chastity very pointedly, very slowly, flipped her off.

The second we were on the road, Prudence’s cold hand squeezed the back of my neck for the second time that day, and I turned to look at him. His eyes were a fathomless electric blue, a kaleidoscope of feeling twisting inside them as we stared at each other for a long, long time.

It was hard.

All of this was.

But hardest of all was resisting the urge to climb on top of him and taste him the way I would’ve if his sisters had not been three feet away.

There were crumbs all over the backseat. Probably half a decade old, if I was being honest. This car had been the first thing I’d bought after I’d sold my first painting. Funny how, after all these years, it still looked the same. The gray seats were stained brown in some spots. The air smelled like stale summer and my mom’s favorite Mexican restaurant. Empty McDonald’s drink cups lay beaten and discarded beneath our feet as my lips began to wobble.

“Don’t cry,” Prudence said.

My laugh was shaky. “Pru—”

His thumb scraped over my cheek, tracing the trail of a rebellious tear as it escaped.

“Are you sure you want to be here for this? I’ll make them take you back.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I cupped the back of his hand, forcing him to keep it pressed against my cheek as I lost myself in his eyes again. The turbulence that had always hidden deep inside them had fought its way to the surface.

He kissed me, and for a moment, I forgot what we were about to do.

What he was about to do.

He kissed me, and I was whole.

* * *

The drive to the prison upstate was mostly uneventful. To pass the time, I made small talk with Prudence’s sisters, though even that felt like it took far too much energy. Everything inside me screamed at me to beg Prudence to stay. To tell him I loved him. To bargain—to plead.

But I refused to hurt him like that.

To manipulate him.

Lord knew, he’d been manipulated enough.

If all I could give him was a choice, that was what I’d do. Even if it killed me. I knew…I knew if I admitted how I felt, he would stay.

But it wouldn’t be what he wanted.

I couldn’t do that to him.

So I stayed silent.

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