Page 76 of Troubles

I end up trotting the kids down the lane and back. The baker, the grocer—Mum’s planning is impeccable. She’s kept me out with the kids until they’re all starving and it’s Henry’s much needed naptime.

“Erin, take this for me.” I hand the baker’s satchel to my niece and scoop a whining Henry into my arms where his thumb goes straight to his mouth and his blond curls tickle my neck as he nestles in. It takes about four steps for his breathing to even out and he relaxes into me, his bum resting in the crook of my arm and his little legs tucked up between us.

“You gonna marry her? Can we call her Aunt Lis?” Erin lisps over Lisbeth’s name, not quite used to the gap in her smile. Ever since she lost her first tooth, Eagan’s been working on his.

It’s not that I haven’t given this question a ton of thought over the past few weeks—longer, if I’m being honest.

“Erm…well…” We’ve been talking about school, and the zoo, and her friends and dance class. She’s hardly spent any time with Lis. “I’d like to, but I’m not sure she feels the same.”

“Why?” And here we go, Eagan’s favorite game.

Sighing, I try to figure out how to put the quickest end to his questions. “I might’ve hurt her feelings, made her mad at me.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize my answer is far too open ended for a five-year-old boy.

“Why?”

I stop outside the house and wait for Erin and Eagan to look at me.

“Because I’m but a simple man, and while my love is big and strong and my intentions are good,” their attention is fleeting and both kids are looking up toward the door, “I made a mistake and now I need to beg forgiveness.”

Erin scowls at me. “You should buy her flowers and chocolates. That’s what Da does when he messes up.” And with that bit of advice, she skips up the steps and into the house.

Eagan, however, is very serious in his response. “You should share something very special with her. That’s what I did in school when I hurt Josi’s feelings.” This must be his little friend that Bridget was telling me about. “I shared my most favorite crayons with her, the ones I don’t let anyone use because they’re my favoritest. Girls have to feel special sometimes, Uncle Aidan.” He nods like he imparted the world’s greatest secrets on me. And maybe he has.

The rest of the day is filled with my family occupying Lis in every way. We eat and talk and the kids fawn over her, wanting every bit of attention they can get.

Lisbeth is polite and engaging. I’m sure no one can see how hard she’s working to keep it together. I see it. I don’t miss a thing. Each time she looks at me, I feel her stress, her frustration straight through to my soul.

And at dinner it starts all over again. The introductions as my brother Declan and Bridget’s husband, Cian, follow my dad in from work, chatting Lis up. Sean and Aileene waltz in a half hour later beaming with happy news of another baby on the way.

Dinner winds down and Mum shoos us out to the lounge while she and Kathleen clean up, and Lis grows quiet. She’s settled in at the corner of the couch with Henry on her lap and his sturdy book in her hand.

I take in the way she cradles my nephew to her, not just reading him the little book, but asking him about the animals on the pages. Both have heavy eyes, and I watch as they slip into sleep, his head on her chest and her check nestled against his curls. And my heart squeezes. I hope it’s not too late.

“Aidan, why don’t you get Lisbeth settled, you’ve a big day tomorrow.” Mum rests her hand on my shoulder, drawing my attention. “She’s lovely, I’m glad we had today with her.” She pins me with her mum look. “Be honest, but don’t let her go. She’s one worth fighting for.”

“She is.” I squeeze my mum’s hand and stand. “What was this about today? We could have had this sorted by now, if you’d have just let us be.”

I need to know why she bombarded Lis like this.

“I want her to know your family, the good in us. If Lorna’s the only one she’s met, after the mess she’s made, Lis would have no problem telling you to piss off.” She wraps her arm around my waist and nods toward the faces staring at me from around the room. “The way you’ve talked about her since you got home, it’s obvious you love her and that she has your heart. I love Lorna, but she had no right to do what she did and I won’t let her be the reason you lose the woman you love.”

Sighing, I scoop Henry up and deposit him still asleep into Sean’s arms. “Thank you, Mum. I hope it works.”

I shake Lisbeth gently, waking her. “Lis, let’s get you to bed.”

Her eyes go wide and dance nervously around the room. Much as I would love to take her to bed, we’re in my parents’ home and we have a lot to sort before we’re ready for that. I smile and shake my head slightly, ruefully.

She says her goodnights and heads up the stairs.

“I’ll be back down as soon as I’ve got her settled.”

Sean stands, adjusting his son’s sleepy body. “I think we’re away, then. See you tomorrow.” Aileene gathers up Henry’s things and they file out. But not before she has her say. “I like her, Aidan. Make things right.”

It’s late morning when I finally give in, I can’t stay away any longer. I lie on the bed, watching her. Every cell in my body drawn to her. Wanting to take her pursed lips, kiss her senseless.

I slide a lock of hair off her cheek and through my fingers causing her to stir awake.

“Morning,” she mumbles.

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