Page 75 of Troubles

It hits me then; how little Aidan has talked about his brother with me.

“I’m so sorry.” I take a step toward him and stop. I want to go to him, put my hand over his heart. Comfort him.

His gaze settles on mine and he sucks in a deep breath, almost like he’s bracing himself. “I want to do this now—talk—get things sorted, but.” He glances at his watch and scrubs a hand down his face. “But all hell is about to break loose and we need time.”

I scrunch my brows together, not really getting what he’s saying, when the front door flies open and the sound of love and laughter float through the house.

“They’re all dyin’ to meet you, insisted on it, so we’ll not have a quiet moment for quite a while.” Meeting his family is not what I came here for. This is not how I imagined this would go. Not at all.

“Take some time. The bathroom’s just across the hall. I’m so sorry for the chaos, I’m sure it’s the last thing you want to do after traveling and…everything.” Aidan backs out of the room shaking his head, his smile forced. “Just come down when you’re ready, yeah?”

I flop down on the bed, disappointed, annoyed as shit. I feel dizzy, light-headed. Closing my eyes, I breathe deep, trying to calm my racing heart and push down this bitter pill.

Did he plan this? Is this to throw me off balance? Why am I here? Why the fuck am I spending the day with his family? I’m here to say goodbye—to let him go.

I allow myself ten minutes to wallow and curse and mentally stomp my feet before dragging myself to the bathroom. I wash my hands and brush my teeth, trying desperately to center myself for what is, no doubt, going to be the longest day ever.

I swipe on some lip gloss, hoping it’s enough armor for what I’m about to face.

41

Aidan

Chaos is the only way to describe it. My niece and nephews are running around the house. My mum and sisters are waiting to pounce the minute Lisbeth comes down the stairs. And I just want to have her alone. I hate every minute that we have to put off talking. Clearing this mess up.

Good or bad, our day has been taken over by my family. Just as Lis comes down the stairs, Henry rounds the corner at full two-year-old speed. I catch him as he slips, falling on his arse. This is the best age, when they fall and can’t quite decide whether they should cry or not. Eyes wide, he looks to me for a hint at what he should do.

Lis claps her hands and smiles huge. “Good job, Henry—look at you!”

It’s exaggerated and so over the top, but does the trick and the little monster giggles and reaches for her.

I’m jealous, and horribly in love, as he wraps his chubby little arms around her neck. I want this. Christ, how I want to have this with her. Babies, and little monsters and all the love in the world.

“Thank you,” I murmur.

“Of course. He’s darling, two-ish?”

“He is. My oldest brother, Sean’s, son. They’ll be by later.” I take a deep breath and blow it out between pursed lips. “Actually, they’ll all be by for dinner. I’m sorry. I tried to get them to hold off a day, but?—”

“Everyone? What does that mean?” I’ve not seen her face this hard, tense, not ever. She narrows her eyes at me, her voice cold. “She won’t be here, will she?” Lis is practically vibrating, she’s so tense.

“No. Of course not, they wouldn’t do that to you—I wouldn’t do that.”

The air is thick with tension. I’m ready to grab her hand and pull her out the door. Take her out of here so we can sort this.

My mum’s voice rises above the clamoring in the kitchen. “Aidan, bring Lisbeth in here and let us have her a bit. You’ll have plenty of time tomorrow.” Any hope I had of talking to Lis today dissipates immediately.

I shake my head, afraid to meet Lis’ gaze. Her frustration is written all over her face.

Lis slips into the kitchen pasting a polite smile on and sits at the table. Mum and Bridget start asking about her trip and school and how we met while my youngest sister, Kathleen, splashes a little whiskey in each of their coffee mugs.

“Uncle Aidan, will ye take us to the baker for a treat? Mum and Granny said ye would while they talk to yer pretty friend.” Eagan’s big blue eyes are joined by his big sister’s and Henry scrambles down out of Lis’ lap.

“Me, too. Wanna go too.”

I throw Bridget a look and am met with a bright evil smile and a five-pound note.

“Here’s a list for me as well, love. Pick this up while you’re out.” Mum hands me a scrap of paper and waves me off.

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