Page 15 of Burden to Bear

Todd had made up his mind.

“I have to go,” he said.

I remained silent.

“I’m going to go now,” he told me as though he believed I hadn’t heard him the first time.

I pressed my lips together, willing myself not to lose it completely, but I was barely hanging on.

“Say something,” he demanded.

“Get out,” I ordered. “If you want to go, get out. Leave.”

“You don’t need to be like that. I don’t know what you expected from me.”

Far too much, apparently. “You need to go.”

Todd held my gaze for two or three beats. Then he turned and walked away, heading to the front door.

I didn’t watch him go.

I didn’t follow him, either.

My eyes remained rooted to the blank space where he had been standing before. And only after I heard him close the door did I give myself permission to crumble to the floor and burst into a fit of tears.

I had envisioned this all going so much differently.

How stupid could I have been?

FIVE

Mia

All the plans I’d had for the holiday break week flew out the window the day I told Todd about the pregnancy. As grateful as I had been to have the time off from work, I also despised it.

One the one hand, I had been able to catch up on the much-needed sleep my body was craving. Even the devastation I felt over Todd’s reaction couldn’t stop me from sleeping. My body took over and forced me to rest. It was probably a good thing, too, because that seemed to be the only time my mind wasn’t plagued by horrible thoughts about how I’d been so wrong about him.

And that’s where the other side of this was for me. Because while the sleep was good, the rest of it wasn’t. Not being at work meant that I had plenty of time, far too much, to get lost in my thoughts about Todd, the baby, and the state of my relationship.

My parents, Rick and Mary, came down along with Albert to spend Christmas Day with me as we’d all originally planned. It wasn’t until they arrived and saw me that they knew something was wrong.

I didn’t tell them about the baby yet. I couldn’t. Not only had I not had it confirmed by a doctor—though I was certain the tests I’d taken were accurate—I simply didn’t want to burden them with the news until I knew where Todd and I were going to wind up. I still hadn’t had the opportunity to wrap my head around the whole situation, and if I shared it with them before I had it all figured out, it would have ruined their holiday worse than the news that I had managed to share with them had.

Although I’d wanted to keep it all to myself, I was close with my family. The questions started almost as soon as they walked through my front door on Christmas morning.

“Oh, we’ve missed you so much,” my mom said after she, my dad, and my brother had all come inside and exchanged Christmas morning greetings with me.

I offered a small smile in return. “It’s been the same for me with all of you.”

My mom tipped her head to the side and eyed me curiously as my dad came right out with his concerns. “Something’s wrong. Is there a problem with the house?”

Shaking my head, I insisted, “No. No, it’s nothing like that.”

“So, there is something wrong,” my mom stated.

I snapped my lips together, hating that I was going to have to do this today. “Let’s not worry about it now. It’s Christmas. We should enjoy the day together.”

I’d barely gotten the words out when I felt my brother’s comforting presence move in close. “It’s Todd, isn’t it?” he asked gently.

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