Page 36 of These Wicked Desires

He rests his cheek on top of my head, and we stand together for a second. Under my ear, his heart thumps in time with mine. For once, slow and steady. Calm. It won’t last though. Especially because this conversation isn’t over.

I pull away and look into his gray eyes. “I still want to talk about this, though. I’m not letting anything happen to Cade’s family.”

Kai sighs, his breath fanning the curls around my face. “I know.”

“Okay.” I take his hand and we head downstairs.

Sterling is sitting in the chair where he usually sits. Cade, however, is standing by the window looking outside into the night-darkened yard. I drop Kai’s hand and approach Cade, moving slowly so as to not freak him out. His back is tight under my palm, all of his muscles tense. I peek around him and glance at his face, and my heart breaks. His eyes are red, like he’s been crying or trying not to cry.

I step between him and the window and hug him tight, lending him what comfort I have. He hugs me back, and I take that as his way of telling me he’s not angry with me, even though he raised his voice earlier.

“Ellis has something she would like us to consider,” Sterling says, then throws in offhandedly, “Calmly.”

Cade pulls away and looks at me, his violet eyes full of sadness. I tug him to the couch and gently push him down next to Kai. I’m too nervous to sit, so I pace back and forth in front of the couch, Sterling’s support bolstering me.

“I refuse to let your family suffer, Cade,” I say quietly, but firmly. “I know you say you won’t resent me later, but you can’t promise that. I’m the reason you're here and not working. It would be my fault if they get hurt.”

“Ellis, tha?—”

I hold up my hand and stop Cade. “I’m not arguing about this. I don’t care how we get them out of there, but we’re going to do it.” I can see him hesitating. He wants to argue with me, but at the same time he wants to save his family. I know Cade well enough to know that he doesn’t want to accept our help. He doesn’t want to risk any of us, or make me wait any longer to save my sister. But I’ve made up my mind. “Cade,” I say quietly and sit on his lap. “Please. You’ve done so much for me. More than you will ever realize. Please let me help you get them back.”

He closes his eyes and releases a breath, his shoulders slumping at the same time. “Did you have any ideas?”

Kai snorts and I shoot a glare at him. “Well, yeah,” I say timidly. He won’t like this, and I know he’ll fight me on it. They all will. But I have to make them understand I want to do this. Even if it rips the scab off all of my healing wounds. “Just please consider it before you shoot it down. Like actually consider it. All of you.”

His eyes narrow, already not liking the direction this is going. Unable to handle anyone touching me while I talk about this, I push to my feet. Sterling watches me like … well like a wolf watching its prey. But instead of wanting to devour me, he’s watching for any signs he needs to step in to protect me from myself. Kai’s arms are crossed over his chest and the scowl on his face is top notch.

I take a deep breath, letting it fill my lungs and expand my chest to the point of pain. When I release it, I shake my arms like I can shake off the sensation of spiders crawling over my skin. “Okay. Since we can’t sneak in to rescue them, and asking Thomas to release them will never work, I think our best bet is to blackmail him.”

“Blackmail him with what?” Cade’s voice is threaded with suspicion, like he already knows the direction this is going to go.

“If we can get the footage from my room, we can threaten to reveal what he let happen to me under his roof.” My attempt to sound confident fails miserably. Especially as Cade’s eyes darken with anger.

He swallows and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and piercing me with his violet stare. “You mean you want me to download the footage of Sam raping you so you can threaten to reveal it for the entire world to see?”

Well, when he puts it that way … “Yes,” I whisper, clutching my hands to my stomach.

“No.” That one word, spoken quietly but firmly, snaps my patience.

“Why won’t you guys even consider it? Stop being so godsdamn protective for once, and fucking consider one thing I say!”

“I did consider it,” Cade says, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest, the perfect mirror to Kai. “I considered it for .5 seconds and quickly dismissed the idea.”

A frustrated, wordless scream climbs up my throat and I stomp my foot. Childish? Yes. But if they are going to treat me like a child then I’ll act like one. Kai smirks and my hand tingles with the need to slap him. His eyes flash red, daring me to act on my impulsive reactions. Instead, I take a deep breath and close my eyes, counting to ten before I speak again.

“It’s my choice to make. I’m the one who is impacted by the video being released. Not you guys.” I cross my arms and shoot Cade a glare when he opens his mouth. “You can’t take this choice away from me.”

Sterling leans forward, snagging my attention. “You realize why we’re hesitant, right? Ellis, when we first met you, you were a shell of a person. We had to watch you flinch at our touch and break down in tears. You’ve come so far and the last thing we want is to see that lost look in your eyes again.”

Leave it to Sterling to make me second guess myself. But I’m not the same person I was before. In just a short amount of time these guys have helped me become the person I’m meant to be. Now I feel like they’re taking it away.

“I understand,” I say quietly. “I really do. And you know I appreciate you guys looking out for me. But I’m stronger now. I have your support and love and that has made all the difference.” I look at each of them, trying to convey that I’m strong enough to handle this. “I don’t want you guys to reject this idea just because you’re worried what it will do to my mental health. If I couldn’t handle it, I wouldn’t have suggested it. You have to trust me.”

Sterling looks at me, and I swear I see pride gleaming in his icy blue eyes. I know I’ll be able to convince him, it’s Cade and Kai I’m worried about.

Cade sits up again, leveling a stern look in my direction. “Let’s say we forget about what this will do to you mentally. You’re expecting us to accept the fact that everyone will be able to watch our mate, our beloved, our soul-bonded, get raped? No one gets to see you naked, let alone in a position like that.”

Kai growls, the monster making its opinion known on that matter. I look to Sterling, pleading with him to help me convince them, but he says it all with his raised brows and lips pressed together in a small line. I’m on my own in this.

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