Page 35 of These Wicked Desires

“Sneaking in is out of the question,” Sterling says. “That building will be under way too much surveillance and there is no way only one or two mages can manage the security and wards Kennedy has surrounding it.”

“Not to mention we have no idea where exactly they’re being held,” Kai chimes in.

An idea starts to take root in my mind, one that only increases the anxiety in my gut, but to save Cade’s family, I’ll do anything. I swallow thickly and turn to Kai. “You said when you abducted me from my room at the Kennedy mansion, there was video surveillance in my room?”

Kai nods, a frown forming a crease between his gray eyes. “Yeah. Cade was able to hack into it.”

“Any chance the footage from that camera gets saved and stored somewhere?” I ignore the way my voice shakes and the way my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.

“Most likely. But that would be a Cade question. Why?” Kai narrows his eyes at me, like he suspects what I’m about to say.

I clutch my stomach and bend over. Saying these words brings back the trauma I experienced under that roof. It makes me want to crawl into a hole and never climb back out again. It makes my skin crawl and leaves a sensation of filth covering my body. But if it helps Cade and his family, it’s all worth it. “What if I threaten to expose him for everything I went through when he was acting as my dad?” My words are strangled, and I have to force them from my throat.

I don’t need to look at Kai and Sterling to know they’ve gone preternaturally still. “What do you mean?” Sterling asks quietly. Too quietly.

“I mean, if he doesn’t release Cade’s mom and sister, I’ll make sure the world knows what he let happen to me.”

“Fuck that!” Kai jumps from the bed and paces back and forth in front of me. “First of all, no one will ever see what happened to you. I’ll get my hands on those recordings and destroy them myself to ensure that. Second, you’re not going to put yourself in a position that takes you back to that time. Not even to help Cade.”

“That’s my decision to make, not yours.” I stand and step in front of him, stopping his pacing.

“And it’s my job to protect you,” Kai growls. “That includes more than just physical protection.” He sighs and shakes his head, his shoulders drooping. “I want to be supportive, Ellis. I want to support you, but this …” He shakes his head again. “This is asking too much.”

I place my hands on my hips and stand up tall, even though I still only come to his chest. “You know you can’t stop me. If you don’t help, I’ll do it on my own. I’ve done it once, and I won’t hesitate to do it again.”

Kai narrows his gaze on me. I know my whirlwind of emotions is feeding into Kai and making it hard for him to control his own. I can see how his eyes churn with everything I’m feeling. “I’ll compel you to not do it.”

My brows raise to my hairline. I clench my fists hard enough that my nails pinch my palms and let the leash on my magic loosen. Golden sparks flicker at my fingertips and I can see the golden swirling light in my eyes reflected in Kai’s. “I fucking dare you, Malakai Thorne,” I say, words quiet and shaking with anger. Unbelievable. After that talk we just had about him having to trust me and the first time I need him to, he pulls this shit again.

We stare at each other, Kai’s jaw clenching and unclenching, my anger fueling his. If I don’t cool my attitude, Kai’s will keep rising until he explodes. But I’m not backing down this time.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Sterling steps between us, gently pushing Kai away. “Take a breath, Kai. Raise your shields before you do something stupid.”

Kai growls, baring his fangs at Sterling, but the wolf doesn’t back down. He raises one brow, the alpha ordering his pack to obey his command. Kai curses and turns around, heading for the bathroom, and the door slams shut behind him.

Sterling turns to me, and I square my shoulders, prepared to keep fighting. He shakes his head and lifts my chin with his finger. “You too, kitten. Take a deep breath.”

I don’t want to. I want to show him he doesn’t control me like that. He said so himself. I’m his equal, his alphamate. But I have a better chance at convincing them if we all keep level heads. I close my eyes and take a breath, inhaling his pine and winter scent, and releasing it.

I open my mouth to argue with him—calmly—but he beats me to it. “I’m not saying no. Yet. But this is a discussion to have with Cade. This will be a group decision, Ellis. No matter what decision we come to, you can’t go off and do this by yourself. We’re a team, remember?”

I sigh and nod. “Yeah, I know. I didn’t really mean that, but when Kai didn’t even entertain the idea …”

“The claws came out?” He smirks, and the sight causes the rest of my anger to melt away. “Come on.” He kisses my forehead and threads his fingers through mine. “Let’s go downstairs and wait for Kai.” Before we can move, the bathroom door opens and Kai steps out. We stare at each other for a moment, and Sterling lets my hand go. “If I leave, will you two play nice?”

I don’t answer, because that depends entirely on the vampire. Kai grunts, but there is nothing aggressive in his posture. Sterling must take that for confirmation because he leaves us alone in tense silence. I cross my arms over my chest, unwilling to be the one to break. I never said I wasn’t stubborn.

Eventually, Kai sighs and crosses the room. “I’m sorry, Ellis. I should never have threatened to compel you.” He frames my face in his palms, using his thumbs to lift my head. “I’m still struggling to keep your emotions out. They feed into mine and it just becomes a perfect storm of anger that I can’t control. That’s not an excuse, but it’s all I have right now. Not to mention you standing up for yourself like that is fucking sexy as hell.”

I press my lips together, fighting the twitch that wants to break out into a laugh. He would like to make me mad just because it turns him on. “I just wish you would consider my ideas sometimes. I know they aren’t always the best, and I know you only want to keep me safe and happy. But I don’t like to be shut down without you even considering what I have to say. And you told me you’d do better, Kai. You told me you needed to trust my instincts more.”

“I’m so sorry, baby girl,” he breathes. “I don’t mean to do that. My instincts are hard to fight sometimes. I need to do better. I will do better. I don’t want you to think I don’t value your opinions, because I do.” He sighs and presses his forehead to mine. “Sometimes its really fucking scary. You are my world, Ellis. Nothing else matters in my life, except you. The thought of you hurt, in any way, makes me crazy. I let that fear win sometimes, and I don’t think before I speak or act.”

“I get it,” I whisper, clutching his t-shirt. “I really do.” That fear can be debilitating. Just thinking of losing one of them …

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I love you so much, Ellis.”

I wrap my arms around his middle and bury my face in his chest, inhaling spice and cherries. “I love you too, Kai.”

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