Page 37 of The Senator

Nash nodded as I turned off the gas and handed him the wand. He mimicked my movements, and when the pilot caught, he looked at me with a triumphant grin. “I’ve never used a grill before. Do you use it a lot?”

I laughed. “I’ve been out here in rain and snow grilling stuff. Stick with me, kid. I’ll show you all the tricks.” I leaned forward and kissed his temple. He didn’t move away, and my heart grew wings.

“So, uh, what are we cooking?” Nash asked, watching me close the lid to allow the grill to heat.

I wanted to haul him upstairs and show him the fire my soul felt for him, but I respected his boundary—nothing until I wasn’t married any longer.

Would Vani’s filing for divorce count? I had no doubt Vanessa and I would remain the best of friends, but would Nash stick around to see it through? That was the bigger question.

CHAPTER 16

NASH

I stood from the table to clear the dishes. Vani and Spence were discussing the way to divide their assets, and I felt like a fucking third wheel. I had no business being in the middle of such discussions between a married couple, regardless of the circumstances.

I reached for Spence’s empty plate, surprised when he touched my hand to stop me. “Sit down, please. We’re not going to fight about this stuff, I promise.”

“Oh, I was trying to give you some privacy. I don’t mind doing the dishes,” I offered as I walked back to the kitchen sink, dipping the plates I’d collected into the lavender smelling suds. I’d done every job in food service, and I didn’t hate any of them. Washing dishes was like meditation.

The fact Spence and Vani were trying to sort out their separation made me uncomfortable. I didn’t want to be the cause, and Vani had never made me feel as if it was my fault, but that didn’t make it okay with me. From every vibe I got from the two of them, they were being honest about their desire to end their marriage, but not their friendship. I was the one who was having a hard time with it, and I really needed to consider why.

Spence stood from his seat at the kitchen table and walked to the sink, touching my cheek to gently turn me to look at him. “Please, sit with us. It’s important to both of us that you realize how much we appreciate having you in our lives, but for very different reasons. I’m sure this is a more unique situation than any you’ve encountered in your life, but we’re not gaslighting you. This isn’t some setup to fuck you over or play you for a fool. Vanessa and me, we’ve been headed in this direction since Jay was in high school, but neither of us were ready to uncouple until we had Jay in college, and now, well, I think we’re both ready.”

I glanced at Vani to see she nodded with a sweet smile on her face. I guessed their minds were made up.

My stomach turned before I pulled my hands out of the dishwater. I couldn’t begin to understand why they’d want me to sit with them, but it seemed important, so I dried my hands.

I followed him to the table and took a seat between them, taking both of their hands for a moment to get their attention. “Spencer, you are a United States Senator from Virginia. I realize you lost the election, but I don’t want…”

I was prepared to talk him out of whatever relationship he was trying to create between him and me. His reputation was damaged, but not decimated. Any hint that he and I were together would annihilate any chances he had for recovering from the scandal to move on in his life.

I was an escort. If the press got wind he was with me in a romantic way, he might as well resign himself to pumping gas for the rest of his life.

“No! Stop that shit right now. I lost the election through my own fault and choices, but it set me free. For the first time in too long, I have hope for the future because I’m finally doing something I want to do.”

He glanced at Vani and smiled. “No offense, love.” Seeing his love for her through his kind words dialed up the guilt I was feeling even more.

Spence stood from his seat, walking around me to pull out Vani’s chair. She stood and kissed his cheek before leaving the two of us. I heard her on the stairs and turned to Spencer, seeing his hand extended to me. “How about we go to the other room and talk?”

I nodded, taking his hand and following him into the family room in their grand home. I could see Vani had packed boxes in that room as well. “You weren’t suspicious that more was going on than painting?” I asked as I took a seat in the corner of the lush sectional, pointing to the half-empty bookcase.

Spence walked over to the wet bar in the corner, opening the small fridge and pulling out two bottles of Bud Light. He held one up, and I nodded, so he carried them over to the table and placed the bottles on coasters after he opened them.

Spence took a seat next to me and looked around, seeing what I’d pointed out. “Fuck, I’ve been in a goddamn fog since the stupid election. I was coasting through life, afraid to really make any decisions about anything. Thank heaven, Vani took the step we both needed to take.” He reached for his beer and took a swig, resting his head on the back cushion of the sectional. I could see the exhaustion on his handsome face, and I wanted to take him in my arms, but I kept both hands on my beer, still uncertain of my place in their relationship.

“I remember the first time I finally accepted I was gay and wanted to act on my attraction for another guy. I was in the locker room at school, which is a fucking awful place to have a sexual awakening, I’ll tell ya. We’d finished baseball practice. Oh! I had big dreams back then that I could be a major league baseball player, but my father quickly squashed that idea, telling me no Brady was going to be anything but a member of the judiciary or the President of the United States.

“Anyway, there was this new guy. He’d transferred to our school district over the Christmas break, and he was gorgeous but very standoffish. His name was, uh?—”

He was racking his brain when we both heard, “Lanny Fisher” yelled from down the hallway.

Spencer rolled his eyes and chuckled. “She has the hearing of a bat. The eyesight as well.”

“Fuck you.” Vani clomped up the stairs without waiting for a response.

“She’s worried about you. About how you’ll be when she leaves town,” I offered before taking another swig of my beer.

Spence sat up and took another drink. “She’s always worried about me. She feels like I sacrificed too much for her, but honestly, I knew my parents career ambitions for me required a wife, kids, dog, picket fence. Oh, that’s not why we adopted Jay, but I’m sure that’s what my folks think. He’s a great kid, really. I’m worried about him, but he’s stronger than I’ll ever be. I’ll stick around town, so I can be here for him, and of course, once Vani is settled, Jay will probably go see her on breaks. I hope to fuck I can make up for lost time with him.”

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