Page 37 of Textbook Romance

Beth and I look at each other knowingly. I don’t know how to explain any of this.

‘She kissed someone called Jack by the bike sheds and he sent her a picture of his ding-dong,’ little five-year-old Joe repeats plainly. It would seem he does, though.

Jack

Let’s get this straight. She kissed me. I didn’t overstep. I was sincere about how I felt. I saw someone who was so hard on herself, whose self-esteem was in the absolute gutter, and I wanted to lift her up, make her feel worthy and believe those things about herself. But then there was a kiss, and it was the sum of those small physical moments of our hands touching, looks, proximity, and it had enough spark to have burnt those bike sheds down to the ground.

And I didn’t quite know what to do. So now, I stand here in front of the door of this flat and knock loudly over the music. I hope they’re not having a party in there because I, for one, will be upset that I haven’t been invited. The door opens and Ed is there in tracksuit bottoms, looking slightly annoyed that someone’s caught him in casual clothing.

‘Jack? Were we expecting you?’ he says, welcoming me in and putting an arm around me. ‘MIA, DID YOU INVITE PEOPLE TO DINNER AGAIN?’ he shouts into the kitchen.

Mia pops her head around the corner. If Ed has gone casual, Mia looks ready for bed, wearing a giant Snoodie. ‘JACK! No, but come in, you plonker. Come and save me from Ed who’s explaining the importance of grade boundaries to me,’ she jests, not before planting a big kiss on her husband’s cheek to make it up to him.

I stroll through their flat, a place I’ve visited before, but which is very different to the house I currently inhabit. It really does feel like the next stage of adulthood with the prints on the wall and the stainless-steel kitchen. I also notice all the houseplants and examine a fern by the window that I do believe I bought for Ed myself. It still lives. This doesn’t surprise me. Whilst a good majority of us came to university to escape, to discover, to drink cheap alcohol, it always came as a shock to me how concerned Ed was about his learning. To the point where sometimes I think he came innocent and left in exactly the same state. He was always a reliable sort, the only man I knew at university who had his own sandwich toaster and who cleaned it after every use.

Mia grabs a beer from the fridge for me, turning down the music as I take my coat off and sit down on an armchair, admiring Ed’s matching throw cushions.

‘To what do we owe the pleasure then?’ Ed asks. ‘Do you want to stay for dinner? We’re having baked potatoes, but I can put in another and grate some more…’

‘I kissed Zoe Swift by the bike sheds,’ I tell them, clutching on to my beer, my mouth a little dry to have said that out loud.

Ed pauses for a moment. I’m not sure whether it’s because I interrupted his baked potato talk or he just doesn’t know how to respond. Mia, however, punches the air in delight. Their reactions are so different that I really don’t know how to feel about the situation. Mia comes over and hugs me and all I can say is that her velveteen Snoodie is extremely soft. It’s like hugging a very large rabbit.

‘I knew it, knew it, knew it! You kissed? What else happened?’ Ed shifts his wife a look as if disapproving of her urge to find out all the salacious details. If anything else followed on, it doesn’t feel like Ed wants to be party to it, but it was just a kiss and one that was quite extraordinary. Sometimes kisses can be like that – they can be filled with longing, a sharing of something so intimate that it imprints itself on to you and you imagine what will follow, what could be. I can still feel the touch of her lips on mine.

Ed remains quiet, looking at me. He plants himself on a neighbouring sofa and Mia goes to sit down next to him.

‘You’re mad?’ I ask him, taking a long sip of beer, fearing his judgement.

‘Not mad, just, she’s been through a lot. I think I feel a bit protective towards her.’

Mia rests her head on her husband’s shoulder, curling her legs up towards him.

‘I know, mate, and I don’t want to hurt her, I really don’t.’

‘So how did you leave things?’ Mia asks excitedly, putting a handful of peanuts in her mouth and offering me some.

‘I have a feeling she was kind of freaked out.’ There was a moment when she backed away from me and just looked at me in shock and I couldn’t read her expression at all. Did she like that? Or not?

‘There are cameras there,’ Zoe said. ‘We have at least three bikes stolen from here a month.’

I didn’t know how to reply to that. Could we talk about the kiss? We just kissed. I, for one, found it quite amazing and I wouldn’t mind doing it again.

‘I have to go,’ Zoe mumbled, clutching on to her keys so tightly that I could see her flesh go pale. ‘The cameras…’ she said, pointing to two corners of the bike shed, her eyes darting around before she pulled a scarf over her mouth and literally jogged out of there towards the darkness and her car. I wasn’t quite sure what that meant so I stood there for a moment. I just hope those cameras got my good side.

Ed grimaces. ‘Who kissed who?’

‘She kissed me,’ I reply.

They sit there opposite me, trying to work out the details of the kiss, trying to decide if whatever we’ve started should persist for the greater good.

‘Are you a shit kisser?’ Mia asks, wincing. ‘Ed, snog your friend and find out.’

Ed laughs it off, but her comment leaves me slightly paranoid, and I put a hand to my mouth. Was it a breath thing? I did have onions for lunch.

‘Maybe she was just slightly overwhelmed by the moment. When Mia first kissed me, I wasn’t really sure what was going on. She took me by surprise. I had food in my mouth. I could have choked,’ Ed informs me.

‘He loved it really,’ Mia replies, blowing her husband a kiss. ‘Ed’s right. Knowing Zoe, she’s probably been with her husband for so long that she was likely just a little shocked that it happened. Plus, you’re easy on the eye, so it was probably just panic.’ Ed glares over at her. ‘Not as easy on the eye as you, though, love. Obviously. Did you enjoy it?’

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