Page 38 of Textbook Romance

‘Very much so,’ I report, trying hard to keep my cool. Mia smiles at me knowingly, though. She knows that kiss was felt in my very core. It’s all I’ve thought about for the last hour.

‘I mean, the other option is that she’s kissed you and worked out it’s too soon and she’s not ready and if this is the case then I suggest a gigantic step back. Give her space and time to sort out what she wants.’

I nod. These two combined are quite a knowledgeable pair and it all makes a lot of sense. Let her decide. The kiss was the litmus test, and we shall see where it goes from here.

‘So, what do I do now?’ I ask them.

‘Just don’t send her another cock emoji,’ Mia says, her finger pointed at me in warning.

‘It was a chicken. And how do you…?’ I frown at them. Their eyes move in different directions.

‘She may have said something earlier today in the staff room. She was a little confused,’ Ed confesses. ‘How did you not know what that emoji meant? Even I know that, and I didn’t start using emojis until a year ago.’

I shrug. I’ve given myself an education today, though. I know not to send sushi emojis as well.

‘Also,’ Mia says, leaning forward. ‘You didn’t mention to us that she found out about her husband at our wedding. She said you were there.’

‘Yeah,’ I say hesitantly. ‘I wasn’t sure if it was my story to tell. But yeah, when she got the call from her daughter, we were chatting outside. So I share a lot of hatred for Brian and I don’t even know the man.’

Mia suddenly sits bolt upright. ‘Oh my, if this goes further then, Ed, remind me to take some sort of group picture with Jack and Zoe and I’m going to tag the fuck out of it for Brian. Yes?’

Ed nods reluctantly.

‘Have you met Brian before?’ I ask cautiously. ‘What am I dealing with here?’

Mia pulls a face at the mention of his name. ‘Bit boring, to be fair. Met him at a couple of Christmas parties. Old man denim, the sort who looks like he’s into golf. Like, between you and him there’s no comparison. You’re like…’ She studies my face. ‘Young Ryan Gosling vibes. He’s a football pundit in sensible knitwear.’

Ed smirks which makes me think her assessment is pretty accurate. I’ll take young Gosling. Your wife has excellent judgment but then she did choose you.

‘I wouldn’t worry about him, though. He’s made his bed and I do not think Zoe would go back there,’ Mia continues, shaking her head.

‘Yeah. I think this is all about Zoe moving on. Let her make the first moves if this is a thing. Maybe take her out for coffee, a drink, dinner… don’t go too quickly. Let her get to know you properly. For her, she’ll have major trust issues. Someone she was with for years did the most awful thing so just go slow,’ Ed adds.

Mia smiles at her husband still looking out for his colleague and takes Ed’s beer bottle, helping herself to a sip. ‘And… I don’t want to be presumptuous but if this is a thing, then maybe just lay down the parameters. Is it a rebound thing? What are the expectations? Because she has kids, you know, and I think whatever she feels, they will always come first for her,’ she adds.

I nod, sincerely. I hadn’t even thought that far ahead but even at this stage I know it’s important for me to do the right thing by her.

‘I also don’t know you well enough but, if Zoe’s just some conquest, someone to add as a notch on a bedpost or if you are a complete shit to her, then I will come after you and I will kill you, and Ed knows all the lab techs so we’ll make it look like an accident,’ she tells me, a little harshly, with the finger pointing at me again, her eyes tense with a fire that tells me she’s not messing around.

‘She’s not joking,’ Ed mumbles. I don’t know whether to be scared or whether to be impressed that Ed married someone with a bit of spark. I’ve never been more scared of someone in a Snoodie. But all this love that they have for Zoe makes sense. I get it.

‘I promise, I will look after her,’ I tell them, throwing some sort of Scout style salute to the air.

‘Like, if it goes next level, give her some proper orgasms, yeah? Something that will make her forget that complete bellend of a husband of hers. How’s your technique?’ she asks nonchalantly. I do applaud how much she cares about Zoe in a multitude of ways.

‘MIA!’ Ed says, exasperated.

‘I’m just saying… when you say “look after her” then do it properly. It’s no less than she deserves after what she’s been through,’ she continues, throwing her hands in the air.

‘I’m sorry about her, I really am,’ Ed says, glaring at her but laughing at her audacity at the same time.

But they both have a point. Whoever Zoe was going to choose next was going to have mighty boots to fill, not to replace her husband but to restore her faith in men, in relationships, to let her know that love and all its complication is worth it. I’m not so arrogant to say I’d be able to do that, but after that kiss I know I’d at least like to try.

I take a large swig of my beer and watch the couple in front of me. I think I’m starting to come round to wanting something like this – the sort of affection they have towards each other. The way the laughter between them flows so effortlessly. And for a moment, I picture this with Zoe.

‘Also,’ Ed says, looking thoughtful. I await his next pearls of wisdom. ‘Did you want to stay for that baked potato because if you do, I’d need to put it in now…’

Mia and I laugh. Oh, he was being serious.

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