Page 48 of Daring You

Carter, who was busy picking Lily up from the floor, looks up, as do East and Ash.

Goddamn, fucked-up F.R.I.E.N.D.S. crew.

“Nothing.” Astor pushes back from the counter and stands. “I’m not feeling well. I think I should go.”

“Really?” All joking falls aside, and Locke studies his sister. “You don’t look so good.”

“Thanks for that.”

“No—I mean, you haven’t been seeming so hot these past few days. What’s been going on?”

“I asked her the same thing,” I said, and yes, it was the exact wrong thing to say.

Astor glances between us like we’re ganging up on her. “I’m allowed to have a bad day, okay?”

“Astor…” Locke tries.

“Leave me alone, Locke.”

“Is Mike home at least?” I ask, and I honestly mean it. I don’t want to think about her going home alone when she’s—

“It’s always about fucking Mike with you, isn’t it?” Astor whirls, facing me with her teeth.

I raise my hands. “Hey, I wasn’t trying to—”

“I can understand it coming from my brother,” Astor says. “Since he naturally hates anything with a Y chromosome that comes near me. But you? Why the fuck do you give a shit who’s waiting at home for me, Ben? Especially since—” she cuts herself off, even before I narrow my eyes in warning.

The room, once raucous and boisterous with the sounds of cooking, yelling, and Lily, has gone silent. Astor stands in the middle, an unwilling compass arrow pointing in the direction of a story neither of us want released.

Locke…I don’t know what Locke has heard about what went on with me and Astor years ago. All I know is, I don’t want him to find out about it now.

Astor deflates, and I notice the shine to her eyes before she stares at the ground. “Just—I’m going home.”

“Astor, hey.” Carter comes up from behind, her voice the softest out of all of us. “Let me walk you out. Locke?”

Locke nods and takes up the reins of watching Lily.

I want to be the one to walk Astor out. I want to be the man who’s waiting for her at home, an arm slung over the couch, making a space for her where only she fits.

That errant thought, that surprising tug of need, is why I keep quiet and let her turn her back on me.

Astor, she doesn’t open up to many people and keeps a lot of things to herself. It means anything that brings her turmoil, she lets it storm and rage inside her, until the lava that coats her cools and becomes black rock.

It happened with her mother. I noticed, when she thought I wasn’t looking. And it’s occurring now.

I have to put a stop to it, except I remember the last time I tried to cover up and prevent the truth from breaking free. I broke Astor so badly she cracked in half. I can’t do that to her again.

Astor grabs her purse she dropped near the elevator, and mumbles her apologies and goodbyes. The boys wave, respecting Astor’s boundaries by letting her go without urging her to stay, and avoiding mine by letting Locke take the lead on anything he might want to ask me.

He doesn’t. Locke’s more concerned with what his daughter’s up to as she finds suspicious kernels on the ground and instantly pops them into her mouth. That action alone is concerning, because any other dude, and Locke would have a knife down their throats asking why the fuck his sister is so upset.

Then again, Locke has two other women to add to his list of protectees. He may just decide to divide the duties, and conquer me later.

Right now, I’m focused on Astor and the way she moves without the usual pop to her hips that mesmerize me every time, and her refusal to turn and look back as Carter slides the doors shut between us.

All I feared is coming to fruition. Astor becoming involved, digging where she shouldn’t. Looking into the Delaney family would only bring destruction by pissing off the wrong people. It unearths grief that should’ve been shed over twenty years ago. It exposes a boy who doesn’t exist anymore.

I’m unaware of how much she knows, what Astor’s found, but it’s enough to carve hollows underneath her cheeks and shade the sky in her eyes. It’s more than enough to worry me.

Ryan Delaney is poison.

And he’s already in her veins.

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