Page 49 of Daring You

14

Astor

Carter doesn’t sayanything to me on our creaky descent down to the first floor and out of Ash’s apartment.

That’s good, because I don’t know what words are supposed to float past my lips.

I hate being seen as weak, and that’s exactly what I’d become up there, in front of everyone. In front of Ben. The worst part is, I don’t know why this case is becoming all-consuming, or why Ryan Delaney’s spirit haunts my soul in ways no client, nor boss, no lawyer, has ever weighed upon me.

I haven’t even seen pictures of him. Other associates barreled into his public school files, which couldn’t be deleted, and found his pre-school picture. The pre-victim, the happy boy with the healthy, whole family.

I didn’t want to see it, because there is too much Lily in my life for it ever to be okay to scrape over the facts of a child-related crime.

There it is. I’m worried. Terrified that by caring for a baby, I’ve made myself wounded prey in a cage full of hungry apex predators. And one of those feral creatures is Mike, my now ex-fiancé, a man I guess I never truly knew. Yet, I still wear his ring.

We’re outside, and I’m in the middle of thumbing my phone to call a car, when Carter speaks.

“You’ve got a tough case you’re working on.”

I briefly look up. “It’s nothing I can’t get over.”

Carter does a quick jig on the pavement, keeping warm. She didn’t bring a coat with her to walk me out, and even though I didn’t ask her to escort me, I’m pretty sure I’m a jerk for making her wait outside.

“C’mon, let’s go back into the hallway and wait,” I say.

We step inside into a small corridor, low-lit with a lot of exposed brick. Asher’s place is a converted warehouse, and while there are a lot of luxuries, there are still a few quaint original touches. Like no doorman, or lobby, or any public area, really, with proper heating.

“What is it about this one that has you so upset?” Carter persists, but it’s gentle.

Maybe it’s her kind voice, instead of the gruff, blunt arguments I’m used to hearing, that has me mellowing, so I admit, “There’s a child. He survived, but he’s been hidden. And my boss wants me to flush him out.”

Carter nods, but her eyes, normally a shining gold, have darkened. “And you’ve figured out a way.”

“Maybe. I haven’t told anyone, because I don’t know if I want to do it. And that scares me. I’ve never second-guessed successful decisions. Ever. But there’s something about this boy…”

I rest a hand on my forehead, closing my eyes for a few precious seconds.

“Lily.” Carter comes forward, resting a hand on my upper arm. “Locke isn’t the only one she’s healing.”

I drop my hand. “Healing? Who says I need fixing?”

Carter angles her head. “You know, every time I saw you before tonight, you used to play with your engagement ring. Spin the diamond around, feel the ridges as you spoke, rest it against your lips as you thought. These past few times I’ve seen you, you haven’t touched it.”

I glance at her through slits of vision. Sometimes, I don’t enjoy how perceptive she’s becoming. It’s like she’s starting to know me well, and I’m not sure how I feel about another woman recognizing my every flaw. “I’ve been stressed.”

“Mike hasn’t been around.”

“Oh, not you, too.”

“Astor, I’m not them.” Carter raises her chin in the direction of the floors above us. “I’m not going to dismiss what’s going on. You’re either fighting with Mike or you’ve broken up, and neither are wonderful scenarios. You’re hurting. Please, talk to me.”

“I…” I shake my head.

Carter sighs. “Fine. If you won’t talk to me about it, then I’m going to have to go to Plan B. And you’re not going to like it.”

I back away suspiciously.

“I’m going to hug you.”

---