Page 56 of Staying Selfless

She leans forward in the space between us and wraps her arms around my shoulders before kissing my lips, my cheek, my jaw. She’s not crying anymore, but her face shows the aftermath.

She pulls away as she sits on the bed, her arms still draped around my shoulders as I squat down in front of her. “I found a letter today that my mom wrote me.”

“What?” I ask in complete and utter shock.

“I guess I shouldn’t say I found it today, but I read it today,” she explains. “I found it in the storage unit, but I didn’t feel like I could read it then. But for some reason, today I felt like I could. It was really dumb of me to read it today. I should’ve known it would make me cry, but I couldn’t help myself. I finally felt good enough to read it, so I felt like I had to.”

I wipe away some of the mascara from under her bright green eyes with my thumb. “Of course, you should’ve read it today, Logan. If you felt ready, that was the right time.”

“But today is your day.”

“And what did I say I wanted for my birthday?”

“Birthday sex,” Logan quickly states, a small smile pulling at her lips.

“Try again.”

“For me to feel like myself again.”

“Exactly. And if you felt enough like yourself to read that, that’s a really good sign, baby.”

She nods as she wipes at her face, taking a deep breath and standing from the bed. “Okay, let’s go to the hockey house.”

“Hell no.” I gently push her hips back down to the mattress. “We aren’t done.” I take a seat next to her. “You don’t have to tell me what your mom said. But I would like to know how you feel about it.”

Logan takes a moment as she keeps her gaze locked on her lap, away from mine. Finally, she looks me straight in my eyes. “I feel relieved.”

Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I pull her into me, as Logan rests her cheek on my chest.

“She said she trusted me to make the right decision when the time came.”

I close my eyes in relief. I don’t think I could be happier for her than I am in this moment. This is everything that Logan has needed to hear.

“Logan, that’s amazing. And what’s even more amazing is that she knew you well enough to know that you would need that letter one day.”

She nods her head against me. “She wrote me more.”

“Really?” I pull my body back, forcing her to lift her head and look at me.

She offers me a sweet smile before standing from her bed and walking her bare feet over to her bag of toiletries. She grabs some kind of wet towel thing as she stands in front of her mirror and cleans off her ruined makeup.

Logan snags the wooden box that’s sitting on her desk before returning to the bed, taking a seat on the mattress with her legs crossed underneath her.

“I was wondering when you were going to tell me what that was.” I nod towards the wooden box that I’ve been curious about since she left it on her desk two weeks ago.

“She wrote me a bunch of letters.”

I pull my legs up on the mattress, turning my body to face hers as she opens the top to the wooden box. There’s a stack of envelopes inside, all different colors. Looking up at Logan, I silently ask for permission as she gives me a sweet smile and an agreeable nod.

I sift through the letters, all titled differently, but all written in green ink and sealed for specific occasions.

‘When you get married,’ the first envelope reads.

‘When you’re missing your dad and me a little extra,’ the next one says.

‘When you graduate college.’

“Why haven’t you opened this one?” I hold the third letter in my hand.