Page 187 of Staying Selfless

It’s not mine either, I guess. At least, that’s what I’m trying to tell myself.

Logan’s hospital gown is just slightly askew, draping off her shoulder. I lift it to try and cover her more, but her tattoo stops me in my tracks.

The disheveled gown is displaying it perfectly, and maybe that’s what I need. Maybe that’s what Logan needs, too. A reminder that she’s loved. That her parents love her. That I love her.

I hold her hand in mine as she sleeps peacefully, ever so slightly grazing my thumb across her knuckles. I lean over and place my lips on the black ink, needing to feel her skin, and needing her to know how much I love her, because even if she can’t hear the words in her sleep, maybe she can feel them.

As my lips linger, I feel her head turn slightly towards me, her warm cheek grazing mine.

“Hi,” she quietly says, her voice always being my favorite sound.

Chapter 46

Logan

“Hi,” Eli says back to me. His voice is hoarse, revealing that he’s been crying.

I slowly bring my hand to the back of his head, holding him to me, my fingers threaded into his shaggy hair.

I feel groggy, my eyelids heavy as I try to orient myself to my surroundings.

Eli’s body shakes ever so slightly as he silently cries, his face buried in the crook of my neck. My sad boy centers me, reminding me where I am—reminding me of what happened.

“Shh,” I soothe. “I’m okay.”

His warm lips kiss my tattooed collarbone, working their way up my neck, peppering me with soft kisses before Eli places his lips on mine, his tears falling off his cheeks and onto me.

He pulls away just a few inches as his gentle brown eyes search my face, concern plastered on his handsome features. The typical whites of his eyes are red, the skin surrounding them puffy and splotchy.

I wipe away his fallen tears with the pad of my thumb, stroking his cheekbone as I tell him again, “I’m okay, baby.”

“You scared me,” he admits with a shallow suck of air.

Eli pulls his chair closer to my bed, leaning over the small railing and keeping his hand intertwined with mine.

“I missed you.”

He lets out a small laugh, but really, it just sounds like an exhale of breath. “You have no idea how much I’ve been missing you, Logan. Needing you.”

My eyes wander to my leg, a black cast surrounding it.

“Your tibia is fractured.”

“How very medical of you,” I tease.

“Kinesiology major,” he reminds me, smugly pointing at himself. But the usual ego and gloat are missing from his expression as sadness coats his face.

He pulls his gaze away from mine, seeming to have a hard time holding eye contact with me. My attention falls on the IV in my arm, trailing the cords to the machines hooked up beside me. I brush my forehead, finding a large bandage placed there, then rub my hand over my lower belly, my fingers grazing a rough texture.

Finally, I lift the collar of the hospital gown I’m wearing to peek down at my naked body. There’s a bandage over my lower abdomen area.

And that’s when it hits me. I haven’t told Eli that I’m pregnant yet. He might not know that he’s going to be a dad.

“You had surgery,” he explains. “You had some internal bleeding from the seatbelt cutting in and swelling around your kidney, but everything looks okay now.”

He takes my hand in his once again, holding on for dear life, his eyes holding a thousand words that remain unspoken.

“Eli...” I begin with a deep breath, looking directly at him. “Eli, I...” I stumble, unable to find the words. I’m unable to tell him that we are going to be parents. I don’t know why. It’s been on the tip of my tongue for days now. “Eli, we’re....”

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