Page 35 of Crown of Chaos

When Brander instructed Siobhan to push on my stomach, I barely noticed, too swept up in my agony. Afterward, other than the sound of crying and the occasional whisper from the other side of the barrier, the library was silent.

Time passed, and I didn’t move or look away from my daughters. They were small, barely over a pound from the looks of them. Both had a touch of dark blonde-colored hair on their heads, but beyond that, it was difficult to gauge what they would have looked like had they survived. I brushed a finger over their cheeks as I fought the wealth of emotions swelling inside me. I touched their feet, marveling at their delicate toes and fingers. They were perfect and would have been if they’d lived. But they hadn’t, and it hurt deeply to accept that they wouldn’t ever laugh or cry. They would never know how much I grew to love them after I’d found out they were within me.

No one disturbed me as I said hello and goodbye simultaneously.

“Did the bleeding stop?” Brander asked softly, forcing my attention to where he kneeled on the other side of the barrier.

“Mostly, yes,”Siobhan answered, leaning down to wash my legs before Esme and Soraya helped me to change into something softer that wasn’t covered in blood and muck. Once done, they carefully pulled the blankets out from beneath me.

I studied the nest I’d created for my babes, wanting it destroyed and left undisturbed at the same time. It had taken a lot to create the perfect place for them to be delivered, and it felt like destroying it would eradicate a part of them. My body was already healing, and every sign that they’d ever existed would soon be erased. Panic formed within me, but soft purring erupted, drawing my eyes to Knox. He was staring at the unmoving babes that he said he hadn’t wanted. He paced back and forth along the length of the barrier, but he never looked anywhere but at the girls we’d made together.

He paused when he caught me watching him, and the muscle in his cheek jumped before he whispered, “I didn’t mean what I said earlier.” He pushed his fingers through his messy hair and exhaled. “You needed to get angry because, when you are, you fight harder. I needed you to fight.” He swallowed thickly, clenching his hands together before his gaze slid back to the lifeless babes.

“I know.” My voice was weak and hoarse from screaming and crying for hours, and the sole thing I craved in that moment was to be in his embrace.

“Lennox needs to see them, Aria. He’s demanding to see them,” he replied, allowing me to catch the hint of obsidian and flickering embers that burned in his gaze.

I opened my mouth to argue because he’d rejected them. Only, he wasn’t acting like someone who never wanted these babies. No, he was just as broken and full of helpless agony as I was.

Swallowing my fear and need to keep them close, I turned to the girls, agreeing to allow their father to see them. Siobhan andSoraya gathered them carefully and then shifted them closer to where he waited. Knox removed his shirt, and I narrowed my gaze on him as Siobhan gasped. A second later, Knox exhaled audibly.

The library had moved the baby to her father. I examined him as he stared down at her wrinkled appearance, wondering if he found her as perfectly made as I had.

Knox held the babe as if she were precious, and while she’d seemed tiny in my hands, she looked like a miniature toy in his. He ran a finger down one cheek and then over the whisper of sandy blonde hair on her head. Despite what he’d claimed a moment ago, his eyes never changed to allow Lennox to take in the tiny being we’d created. They remained the color of the ocean right before a storm rushed through it.

Silently, a slight smile tugged on his lips before his eyes lifted and he looked right at me.

“She’s as beautiful as her mother, Aria,” he whispered gently. “If they had lived, they would have been ethereal and delicate like her, too.”

I blinked past my watery smile. Knox had survived the death of a child before, but I examined his raw, agonizing pain with fresh eyes. Sven had been around a lot longer than our daughters, and Knox was forced to watch him die one thousand times. That curse took an entire year to unfold, and he’d stood beside the child he’d thought was his through each painful death. I wasn’t sure I’d survive losing our daughters even a single time, but at least I hadn’t lost them alone.

The anguish I felt was debilitating, but buried deep beneath it, hate and rage swelled. I knew it would grow until it was the only thing filling my veins and allowing my heart to keep beating. And while it may not be close to the same thing, I found I understood Knox’s animosity a lot better, and that was scary.

Knox nodded toward Soraya, and she gasped as the library delivered our second daughter into her father’s arms. Slowly, he went to his bed, sitting with both girls nestled lovingly in his palms.

The men moved in closer, their eyes sliding between Knox and me for permission. Greer was the only one who didn’t move toward the newly born babes. Tear streaks had stained his face, but he didn’t look away from where I sat, as if his worry and sorrow were wholly meant for me.

Knox silently asked my permission, and I dipped my chin. Lore leaned closer, his eyes slowly following his finger as wonder lit in his expression. He smiled sadly, lowering to brush soft kisses over the tops of their heads.

“They’re so tiny and perfect,” he whispered, as if fearing he would disturb their sleep.

“You and your mate created perfect daughters, my friend,” Killian stated, but there was a catch to his words, as if he struggled to admit them.

“She did, didn’t she? They’re flawless,” Knox agreed, but his piercing stare had remained on me. My heart ached hearing the pain that shook his words as he spoke. “She’s an amazing creature, isn’t she?”

Killian backed away, and Brander looked at my babies through a clinical eye. He pushed the towel down on one, quickly doing the same to the other babe before pushing out a harsh breath. Finally, he looked at me with narrowed eyes.

“Hemlock? How would they have hemlock in their systems? Even if introduced to your body, it shouldn’t have entered the womb.” His sapphire stare slid over my face and lowered to what little skin was exposed. His gaze was suspicious, but Esme shut it down quickly.

“Aria was shot with a hemlock-tipped arrow when Aurora refused to retreat.” Esme’s violent gaze clashed with mine as she put a hand on her hip. “That’s twice she placed us in the path of certain death.”

“I’m aware,” I whispered through the trembling of my lips, accepting the teacup Siobhan handed to me. I thanked Greer, who’d demanded the library make it exactly the way I liked it. Blowing on the steam drifting up from the cup, I ignored the way Siobhan flitted around me, adjusting the blankets. Placing the teacup aside, I weighed my words carefully.

“I think Aurora used that day as a test, which I failed. I questioned her orders, and she wanted to know if I would argue with her in the presence of others. The second test was when I protected Knox from her. I failed that test when I chose him over her. I guess she didn’t think I would if my sisters were there and in danger, but she was wrong. Tonight, I saw fear in her eyes for the first time. She realized that she’d walked us into a trap and that it cost at least one life. She doesn’t know Reign died as well, and I’ll never forgive her for costing me my daughters. Aurora changed when we returned to the Nine Realms, and she thinks she stands on a pedestal. I’m about to knock her off it, and I won’t be there to help her back up after she falls.”

“About fucking time, Aria,” Esme muttered before she released a shaky breath.

Knox was watching me with a pointed expression, and after a second, he frowned and stood, forcing his men to back up as he moved away from the bed. My eyes widened as he turned toward the door with the babes in his arms, and panic shot through me.

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