Page 4 of A Second Chance At Forever

I clicked on the link and it brought up a picture of Lennox and a guy leaving a fancy restaurant. They both had big smiles on their faces and I instantly wanted to smash the computer. I scrolled down to the article.

It has been confirmed that Hollywood bad boy, Chris Meyer, proposed to girlfriend, Lennox Madison! Chris Meyer, known for his hit roles in, ‘The End’ and ‘Fight Fest’ proposed last night at Chateau Marmont Restaurant where his girlfriend, Lennox Madison, known for her hit records, “I’m Still Yours” and “Don’t Stop Waiting” accepted his proposal. Sources say they plan on having a small wedding later this year before Lennox goes back on tour. These two have been the talk of the town for the last six months and don’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

I felt my face heat up as my blood pressure skyrocketed.

She’s getting married? How the fuck can she do this?

I slammed the computer shut and pushed myself away from the desk. I knew Lennox wouldn’t come back to me, but deep down, I still held out hope. Seeing that she was getting married, those hopes flew right out the window.

Knowing I needed something to get me through the day, I made the short walk up to the bar and sat down.

Why am I letting myself get so upset about this? I haven’t seen or heard from Lennox in years. If this isn’t enough to get over her, I don’t know what is.

I ordered a shot and threw it back at record speed. I ordered another and a beer to wash it down. I tossed back the second shot as soon as it was placed on the bar and started sipping on my beer while thinking about a time when Lennox was mine.

My vision was blurring when I noticed the time, I went ahead and ordered lunch when I saw Nicole walk in.

I stood from my barstool and walked beside her to sit at a table.

“Did you order already?” she asked as we sat down across from one another.

“Yeah, but Wendy will be here in a minute. What did you want to talk about?” I reminded myself to keep my temper in check. I knew she didn’t deserve any shit from me.

“Well,” she started, but stopped when Wendy brought me another beer and took her order.

She looked nervous, her eyes darted from me to her hands that were sitting on the table messing with her bracelets. When Wendy walked away, she brought her eyes back to mine.

“Okay, I was wanting to talk about us.”

“Us?” I asked, confused.

“I know when we started this whole thing that we were both in it for the same reason, but I can’t keep it up any longer.” She dropped her eyes back to her hands and shook her head.

“Can’t keep what up? Are you not wanting to see me anymore?” I almost hoped for a yes. If she said yes, I wouldn’t have had to keep up the charade any longer. I wouldn’t have had to feel guilty about fucking her while thinking about my ex-girlfriend.

“No, that’s not it,” she released the bracelet she was playing with before bringing her eyes back to mine. “I want you, only you. I want to date. I can’t keep this up, I’m falling for you.” Her green eyes stayed locked with mine. More than anything, I wished they were Lennox’s eyes. Nicole’s eyes didn’t shine the way Lennox’s did. They couldn’t light up a room like hers either.

I took a deep breath and released it. I sat up, took a drink, and let out a breath. Rubbing my forehead, I finally brought my eyes back to her. “I’m not good with relationships. There’s a reason we’ve been doing what we’re doing.” It felt like my heart was in my throat. I didn’t want Nicole. I wanted Lennox, but she wasn’t there.

“I know,” she nodded her head agreeing. “I understand if you don’t want to pursue things with me, but I can’t keep doing what we’re doing. If I can’t have all of you, I don’t want any of you.”

I didn’t understand where she was coming from. She actually wanted to be with me? After the way I’d been treating her?

I dropped my eyes to my beer bottle and shook my head, not knowing what to say to her. I started peeling off the red and white label thinking over everything.

“Is this something we can at least try? I’m not expecting you to drop everything for me, I just can’t help it. I think I’m falling in love with you and I can’t keep doing what we’re doing, knowing it will never be anything more than just fucking around.”

Fuck. What do I say to that?

I decided right then, it was something I needed to try.

Why?

Another attempt to get over Lennox. She was getting married. She wasn’t coming back. I couldn’t keep my life on hold for her any longer.

But finally committing to another woman would be like giving up on Lennox altogether. I promised her I would wait. Does she still think I’m waiting? Probably not, why else would she be getting married?

I forced myself to look at her hopeful green eyes. “Okay. We can try, but I’m not making any promises it will work out or that I won’t fuck this up. I haven’t done this whole relationship thing in a long time.”

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