The smile that spread across her face said it all. For once, instead of making her feel like shit, I made her smile. Out of true happiness, not from giving her some smart-ass comment.
We had lunch together where I finally gave her my full attention. I forced Lennox from my mind and actually looked at Nicole and saw her for her, instead of someone that looked like Lennox. When I finished my beer, Nicole reached out and held my hand as I walked her out to her car.
“Can we get together after practice to celebrate?” Her eyes met mine, they held so much excitement, I couldn’t tell her no.
I nodded. “That would be great.” I moved in for a kiss.
For the first time, I kissed her. Like, really kissed her. Not the kind I had been giving her while fucking her, but a real kiss. Slow and tender. She could automatically tell the difference. When I broke away, her fingers touched her lips.
“Someone has been holding out on me,” she teased while smiling up at me.
I stood there and watched her drive away, wondering what I had gotten myself into.
How can I be in a relationship with Nicole when I don’t even have my heart? Lennox does, but I have to take it back. It’s time, I can’t wait any longer. I’m broken and I know Nicole isn’t the girl that can fix me, but I have to try something. Can I do this with Nicole? Will she one day notice the love that she doesn’t have from me and wonder where my real love lies?