Page 78 of Lost In London

Was I missing something cause I didn’t like the way he was making it seem like we were more than what we were?

“What the hell is going on, Theo?” I was too tired and emotionally exhausted to deal with this right now. “You didn’t want me, remember? I had a lot of growing to do. I was too vain. Remember when you said those things?” I remembered everything he said to me. I even got drunk and cried over him hurting my feelings.

Him huffing like I was the drama was quite hilarious. “That’s not… look, I’m sorry. Our timing was off.”

“Okay and it’s still off.”

The fuck.

I don’t care how flattering it was to see him ogling over me, even with red puffy eyes. I knew I was the shit. Been told that my whole life but what he wasn’t going to do is try and play me to my face. Use my emotional state of distress to try and wiggle his way into my bed.

I didn’t want sympathy dick.

You can’t tell me that’s not what he came over here for at this hour of the night dressed in typical fuck boy slut attire. He could’ve called or texted. He could’ve sent a message through Andrea since he talked to her. Hell, he could’ve even come up to the hospital but he didn’t. He came to my house with this wack-ass apology and tried to soothe my feelings so he could get close to me.

He failed the mission.

I’m around psychologists being that Drea and Dre are in my life. Did he not think I wouldn’t recognize the mind games he was playing?

Tuh.

Mama ain’t raise no fool.

You can’t bullshit a bullshitter.

He confirmed everything I knew when his eyes became low with lust and he started licking his lips. “Come on now, London. You and I both know that you’re not happy with her. Let’s start over. You’ve matured and I’ve been waiting on you.”

I had to step back and scratch my ear to stop myself from slapping him. One, I was alone and I didn’t want to put my hands on him and he hit me back. Two, I was alone and needed him out of my house.

“You’re right. I have grown and matured.” This fool started grinning. “But you also ran before it got good, and I don’t blame you. You wanted perfection and I’m far from that. My flaws are what make me beautiful. I’m human, Theo, and you showed me before it even got rough that I was nothing to you.” I moved backward until my back hit my front door. “I’m still red flag central and I have a man that loves them.”

“London…” He started to approach me and my heart started to beat fast.

“Please leave.” I opened my door and waited, unable to breathe not knowing what he was about to do.

“I’m sorry about the past. We can…”

“We can’t do anything, Theo. Please understand that. I wasn’t even at my worst when I met you and you couldn’t handle that version of me so what makes you think that I’d give you access to me when I’m whole? Absolutely not. You won’t reap the benefits of what it took for me to get to this place after I did the hard work without you. Now please leave before I call the police.” I stood firm and confident but on the inside, I was scared as hell.

Maybe I should’ve gone to my mama’s house.

Exhaling, he dropped his head, scratching it. “I never… I’m sorry.” He walked past me and I stood stiff as a board.

The minute I had enough room to close and lock the door I did in a hurry. Even propped up a chair under the doorknob. Finally breathing, I paced my living room in shock at what just happened.

“I need to get the hell out of New York.”

Who in the hell was Theo?

I booked a last minute flight boarding at 6:15 am to find out. I was on that type of time after hearing my woman greet a man at her door at almost midnight. Then on top of that, she hung up on me and didn’t call back until forty-five minutes later. She even Facetimed me and explained what happened but at that point, I’d already booked my ticket and sent a text to Natalie letting her know she’d have to attend the teacher’s end of the year brunch without me.

In short, London had me fucked up.

Theo Kent from Alabama had me fucked up.

It took Quest less than thirty minutes to email me a background check on Theo. I read over the entire thing several times by the time I landed in New York. Was I jealous, not even close. Concerned, absolutely. It didn’t take much to realize that London’s trauma seeds were rooted from her past and those seeds were all planted by men. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a part of that cycle.

Before Quest drove off from dropping me off at the airport he asked me one question that I hadn’t been able to answer.

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