Page 45 of Mister Mom

“I’m pretty sure you’re early.”

Her head twists fast and abruptly, her eyes glaring. “Being early is being on time. I’m sure she wouldn’t like it if I was late.”

I release an annoyed breath. This woman is horrendous. “Please take a seat and we’ll be right back.”

She pats the cushion, brushing something away with her hand, and then sits on the edge of the couch.

I pull my phone out, but the front door opens and Layla comes barreling in, an exhausted look on her face.

“Is that minivan her?” she asks, with Via propped on her hip.

I’ve never been attracted to a woman because she’s holding a baby, but there’s something about Layla when Via is plastered to her side that makes me want to kiss her.

“Yeah.” I hold out my arms, hoping to take Via from her so she can interview the dragon lady.

I smile wide, but Via’s hand clings to her mom’s blouse, popping a button open and granting me a glimpse at her red, lacy bra. My dick shifts in my pants and so I do the same to try to hide the evidence.

“It’s okay, I’ll just do it with her.” She runs into the other room before I have a chance to tell her about her blouse.

At first all I hear are their muffled introductions, but then Layla calls for Payne.

He shakes his head frantically at me, begging me with his eyes not to send him in there.

“It’s okay, just go.” I nudge him forward a little but his feet stop. “I’ll go with you.”

I push him forward, his legs straight, his socks sliding on the hardwood floors. Layla widens her eyes at us when we enter the room.

“He’s just being …” I start.

“Shy,” Layla says, finishing my sentence.

“I already told him that that word is a terrible word to use in front of children,” Nanny Theta says. “It makes the boy—”

“Think that shyness is appropriate,” I say. “Nanny Theta also doesn’t believe in treating them like children.”

I sit down and Payne plops down next to me. This woman will chew sweet Layla up and spit her out, so I feel like it’s my duty to stay.

“I have to admit, usually Payne is the opposite of… timid?” Layla says, and the swell of her breasts steals all my attention because her button is still undone.

“Layla, dear.” Nanny Theta leans forward, whispering something to her.

Whatever she says, Layla’s eyes shoot my way and then she places Via on the couch and, with pink cheeks, buttons up her blouse, shooting me a look. Not a look of displeasure though. It feels more flirtatious, as if what she’d really like to do is undo another button.

Nanny Theta is a no-go. She’s a cockblocker.

Via climbs down from the couch and walks over to the ball popper I fixed the other day. She makes a few noises to get my attention, which I ignore in the interests of moving this interview along and getting this horrid woman out of Layla’s home. Payne falls to the ground to play with his sister, but Via ignores him, pulling at the calf of my jeans.

“That is enough.” Nanny Theta claps her hands. “You.” She points to me. “Take that toy and the children into the other room.”

Who does this lady think she is?

Layla is pursing her lips and I can’t tell if she’s trying not to laugh or if she’s just displeased with the other woman’s outburst.

“Sure, let’s go, kids.” I pick up the toy and Payne holds Via’s hand on the way out.

We’re not in the other room for more than fifteen minutes and Payne is playing with Via, mimicking what I usually do by taking the balls and hiding them in his hands.

The script is still on the table since I’d been working on it after Payne passed out on the way home from Leo’s dog salon, so I organize the papers and place them on top of my computer. I might be the only thirty-four-year-old who prefers a printout over a virtual version.

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