Page 44 of Mister Mom

He shrugs. “Yeah.” I glance to the unused mini basketball hoop in the corner of the basement.

We spend most of our time down here, since the majority of his toys are stored in the rec room. Not to mention I figured I’d keep the upstairs clean for the sitter interview.

“Well, my buddy got some tickets for tomorrow night’s Lakers game. You wanna go?”

I still remember my very first football game with my dad and my sister, Charlie. It was such a huge deal. He got us the foam fingers, we ate nachos, hamburgers, and had our first taste of Coke. For the record, we thought it was the best thing in the world.

“Sure.” He shrugs.

Inside I’m already cringing because I’m not so sure he’s going to appreciate the near court seats I snagged.

The doorbell rings and I jog up the stairs. When I open the door, an older woman with gray hair and orthopedic shoes, wearing a dress, stands in the doorway. The interview wasn’t scheduled for another half an hour, but I’m going to guess that this is the potential new nanny.

“Hi,” I greet her.

She looks me up and down with a disapproving glare. “Are you the dad?”

“Since you rang the doorbell, why don’t we start with who you are?”

Her face morphs into disgust, as if her nose could twitch and I’d be turned into a cat or something.

“I’m Nanny Theta.” She straightens her back, squares her shoulders, and raises her chin as though she just announced she’s the president.

“Come on in, I’m just filling in temporarily.” I smile.

She doesn’t return the gesture, but walks in with her squeaky brown canoe feet.

“Is Layla here?” Her gaze sweeps around the foyer.

Payne runs in and slides on the marble floors, skidding to a stop by my legs. He wraps his arms around, hiding behind my legs.

“This is Payne.” I pat his back.

“Come here, boy, let me see you.” She crosses her arm, her small shell purse in front of her now.

Payne grips my jeans tighter.

“He can be shy,” I say.

He’s never really been so with me, but it’s clear that he wants nothing to do with this woman.

“You should never use that word. It only makes them believe it’s okay.” Her attention is still focused where Payne is strung around my legs. “Payne, you need to unglue yourself and step forward for presentation.”

“Why don’t we move into the family room and get better acquainted? Give him some time to warm up.” I motion in the direction of the family room, hoping she’ll go first.

“Have it your way, but babying him is not going to help him with social anxiety. I’m a firm believer that you cannot treat them as children, otherwise they never grow up.”

She runs her finger along the table set against the foyer wall as we pass before stepping into the family room.

What is her problem? I think Nanny Theta might belong more in the military than looking after young children.

“A clean and orderly house helps with behavioral problems. She’ll have to hire a housemaid. I do not dust, or vacuum. I don’t prepare dinners. I’m here for the children’s care only.” She stands in the middle of the room, her arms crossed and her judgmental eyes taking in every surface of the house.

Payne scurries further behind my legs than before.

“That should really wait until Layla is here. Let me text her and see when she’s due back.”

“Her tardiness is not a good sign,” she snips.

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