Page 46 of Mister Mom

“What do you think of Nanny Theta?” I ask Payne.

“I don’t like her.” He scrunches up his face in a way that reminds me of his mother.

“Yeah, hopefully your mom has some other options before Monday.”

Payne continues to play with Via for a few more minutes. He picks up the ball and starts running all over the room, then weaves into the kitchen. Via is chasing him the entire time, screaming and laughing and wanting it back.

“Via, here.” I hold up another ball, but she shakes her head and eyes Payne again.

He jumps from kitchen chair to kitchen chair and Via continues to scream. He runs into the family room before I can stop him and Via follows. I hop up and run into the room, but Payne is jumping on the chair. Layla has her hand on his arm, scolding him, but he’s not listening to her. He throws the ball at Via’s head and she falls down on her butt, crying hysterically. If all that isn’t enough, Payne escapes his mom’s hold and jumps off the couch, picking up magazines and throwing them on the ground. He moves to the wicker basket of toys, tossing every toy out of the basket.

“See, this is more than just nannying, Miss Andrews. Just as I thought, he has a behavioral disorder. Allow me to show you how I deal with it.” Nanny Theta stands from the couch faster than I would have thought possible. Those orthopedic shoes must be working for her.

She grabs Payne by the arm, yanks him up and places her finger in his face, scolding him for his behavior. Unfortunately, she’s no match for Payne. He moves his arm out of her hold and then rears it back.

“No, Payne!” Layla says right before he smacks Nanny Theta across the cheek.

Silence erupts into the room. Even Via, who is now in my arms, is silent.

“Well, I… I’ve never …” Nanny Theta grabs Payne and turns him around, her own hand cocked and ready to spank Payne.

Layla rushes over and grabs her wrist. “Don’t you lay one hand on my son.”

I’ve seen a lot of sides of Layla in the past week, but this is a new one. A scary one. Don’t piss this woman off.

Nanny Theta stands poised with her arm out. “He’s a deviant.” Spittle flies from her yellow-stained teeth.

“He’s a child. One who needs guidance. That’s our jobs as adults. Now please leave my house.”

“You aren’t doing him any favors.” Layla lets go and Nanny Theta drops her arm. Payne immediately darts behind Layla’s back. “He’s never going learn to behave if you don’t use physical discipline.”

“I wish I could say this was a pleasant visit. You aren’t the person I want watching my child all day.” Layla follows her to the door, and Payne crawls into the corner of the couch.

“I don’t understand this new generation,” Nanny Theta says and a second later Layla has slammed the door behind her.

I can see in her eyes that she’s about to lose it and on the verge of crying.

I continue to bounce Via in my arms to keep her content when she starts hiccupping.

“Vance. Um, give her to me.” Layla is narrowing the distance between us, her hands out.

“I got this. Go take a minute.”

She shakes her head. “Just pass her over.”

Her fingertips are on Via, ready to pluck her out of my arms, when Via unloads and pukes all over me.

12

Layla

The doorbell rings and I glance back and forth between the door and Vance.

“Go,” he directs me and disappears around the corner with Via in his arms.

I answer the door and Nanny Theta is standing on the porch, her shoulders high, nose even higher.

“My purse,” she says like I’m her servant.

---