Page 25 of Drew

But the grin on his face bespoke laughter and ratcheted up her nerves. She tried to remove herself from his lap. “You’re laughing at me!”

“No.” His grin didn’t change. She struggled harder, but his grip was immovable. “I’m sorry. I’m not. It’s just we don’t really call ourselves that.”

She paused in her struggles. “You don’t?”

He shook his head. “We shift into wolves. We don’t become some half-human, half-wolf beast that stalks around on two legs.” His hand ran down her tense back. “We call ourselves shifters or wolf shifters.”

“Oh.” She swallowed. “I didn’t have anyone to teach me that.”

His eyes narrowed, and all traces of humor fled. “Elaborate. What do you mean you didn’t have anyone? You are a shifter. I know it was you last night. Are you a half-breed? Part human?”

Alyssa shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Who are your parents? Don’t you belong to a pack?” Seeming angry, he took a deep breath before calmly stating, “You better start at the beginning.”

“I grew up in foster care.”

Before she could get started with her story, he cut her off. “Human foster care?”

She nodded.

“How the fuck did you end up there?”

Defensively, she shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

His warm palm stroked down her back once more. “No, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you; just confused by the situation. Humans don’t raise our kind. They don’t know our kind exists, so it’s problematic.”

“Oh, I know that much.” And she did, first-hand. He gestured for her to continue, and she wondered if he didn’t trust himself to say more. “I’m not sure where I came from, but I grew up being moved from house to house. Most of them were pretty good, some were all right, and others were pretty rough. Then, when I was about thirteen, it all changed. Well, I changed that is.”

“Yes, the first shift happens around puberty,” Drew confirmed.

“And it was more than unsettling for a kid expecting a period but ending up with raw meat cravings and a fur coat.”

“How did you deal with that?”

“I was living in a city, so it wasn’t easy. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me. The first time I shifted, I felt awful, nauseous, and dizzy. I stumbled out of the apartment. I think it was nearing midnight, and everyone else was asleep. Somehow, I made it down the elevator. I’d get extreme hot flashes followed by chills. I didn’t know what the hell was happening to me, and I’m glad I didn’t run into anyone on my way down because I think my eyes had changed already. Everything looked weird. If someone had seen me, they would have thought I was on drugs and gotten the police involved.”

Drew’s hand continued to stroke her, bringing her calm as she remembered one of her life's scariest, deadliest, and most disturbing moments.

“Once I got to the street, it was pretty empty, but everything seemed super loud. My hearing had changed, and I could smell so many more things. I was starving and very itchy; honestly, I don’t know how to describe it. So many things were happening at once. I just felt uncomfortable in my skin, and inside my skull, what started as a headache became sharp and obvious. It was my wolf howling, wanting out.”

“My first shift felt like that, but I knew what was happening. My parents had warned me, and when they saw the signs, they took me to a forest so I could change in the moonlight and hunt. But you were in a city. What happened? You would have had to feed on something. Shifting takes a lot of energy, especially when you’re not accustomed to it.”

She glanced down at her lap and confessed, “Rats. There were lots in the city.” She’d never had someone to guide her through what was happening to her body as he had. It sickened her to think of those first few months, but she’d done what she needed to in order to survive.

As embarrassed as she was by her past, she pushed herself to open up to Drew. “My first change happened behind a dumpster, and I caught one there. My wolf took over and followed scent after scent.” She remembered a hot dog vendor screaming and running away. She’d wanted to give chase as he abandoned his cart and took off down the street, but confusion and an abundance of new sensations kept her distracted. “I ended up on the wrong side of town, and for a teenage girl, that would have been dangerous, but as a wolf? Well, everyone ran off. I wandered into an area under the highway where the homeless people slept. One of them left their dog behind to flee.” Tears blurred her vision, and she rubbed at her eyes with the heel of her hand. “I almost killed it. It was just tied up there, whining and cowering. I had no control over my wolf. I didn’t understand, didn’t know how to control it.”

Drew’s hand rubbed her back. “It’s not your fault. Someone should have been there to help you.”

“I think part of me knew I needed to get control. Like there was a small part of me still there because I obviously remember it all. Luckily, the police showed up. I think the sirens knocked something loose in me, and I grappled with the animal for control. I remember snarling at them, intent on striking out, but I had gained control of my wolf by the time they opened fire.”

“They fired on you?”

“Animal control couldn’t get there fast enough. People were in danger. I’m so glad I didn’t hurt anyone or that poor dog.”

Calmly, his palm rubbed her back. “That’s not your fault. You should have never found yourself in that situation. Your first change should have been a time of celebration and tradition, not fear and confusion.”

Her shoulders shook. The terror on their faces haunted her. The pitiful noise the dog had made as it cowered against the cardboard box. Alyssa buried her face in Drew’s shoulder and let herself be comforted for the first time in her life. Sure, there had been reassuring pats on the back by teachers and guidance counselors and the occasional hug from a foster mom, but no one had held her when she’d cried, especially not in the months following her first shift.

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