“Will you miss having your childhood home to go to?” Her concern seems valid, we have a lot of memories growing up here. There were times we played tag in the front yard. The time she accidently spilled paint in the kitchen–which left a small permanent stain in the wood of the floor–and the time I attempted to play the guitar for her. So many memories flash through my head of some of the best days pre-adulthood. But I don’t let it get lost on me that we’ve already started making some new memories.
“I don’t look at it like that. Because this was never really my home.” I finally respond.
“Explain.” She says curiously, looking at me to see if she can decode my explanation before I tell her.
“Before all of this new stuff happened between us, I always felt lost. But I didn’t know why or what would fix it. Packing up and moving with my dad only strengthened that feeling. Though I know I was doing the right thing for myself at the time. But I just kept feeling further and further away from home. And then, we lost contact and days turned into months which turned into years. Though I was successful and doing everything I knew I was meant to do, something was missing. Then I found my way back to you.” I try my best to explain the way that I used to feel. Feeling lost can mean so many different things. But it was directions to a destination I needed, it was a connection to a certain someone’s soul.
“How do you feel now?” She tilts her head up to the sky once more, and I crave to know what this feels like every day for the rest of my life.
“Like I’ve found my home.” I squeeze her hand in mine and allow this moment to sink in for a few beats, watching her eyes cloud as she tries to hold back tears.
I turn to her, desperate to touch her deeper than she’s ever been touched before. She’s it for me. She’ll never have to battle her wars on her own ever again and I will slowly but surely help to heal her scars. Pride swells in my chest when I realize that I have this girl all to myself and I know that I’ll always never be alone. It’s the two of us for the rest of our lives, one precious day at a time.
“I love you, Hollis,” I tell her, hoping she can hear the Hollis-brand on my soul that grips those four words.
She reaches for her arm and unwraps her tattoo. Then nods at me to unwrap mine. The crisp air feathers over the raised lines of my fresh ink as I pull the wrap from my skin. I close my eyes for a brief second as I turn my arm, allowing the breath my skin takes as it’s exposed to the night sky and the love that settles between the two of us. And when I open my eyes to read the line of script, my heart heals and mends. Any broken piece or empty didn’t even know existed feels unequivocally restored.
I love her. I love her so fucking much. And I know she loves me too, as she pulls me into her face, our foreheads touching, and she whispers the phrase of the tattoo into my lips.
“To the moon and back.”
epilogue
Hollis
TWO MONTHS LATER
“Ababy?”
“No!”
“Did you elope?” I roll my eyes at my best friend's question, who can't see me through the phone.
The last time we talked was only a few weeks ago when she told me that she was moving in with her sister to help take care of the house while her sister goes out of the country for work.
“Oh my God, no! I wouldn’t do that," I say as I balance the phone between my shoulder and my ear, trying to fold some clothes into one of the drawers in Jax's bedroom…ourbedroom.
“Actually, you would do something like that," she counters, and I huff at her honesty.
“Yeah, you’re right. That would be pretty on brand for me." I think about how eloping would be exactly what I would prefer actually, but marriage is not in my future any time soon. Jax and I are very fucking happy soaking up each other's time and energy while still healing from our pasts.
Besides, it hasn't been long since we've rekindled our relationship and though we are so deeply in love, we don't feel the need to hold Mr. and Mrs. labels to keep that love growing.
“Then what?” she asks with annoyance wrapped around her tone.
“I’m moving in with Jax," I announce to her and the silence on the other line is loud.
I wait a beat longer just to see if maybe she didn't hear me but then she gasps.
“Wait. Bitch, what? That’s your big news?” The shock factor that isn't displayed in her voice is replaced by a confused and uninterested tone, which causes me to roll my eyes once more.
“Umm…yeah?” I know she probably expected something big considering my excitement but to me, this is big.
Jax asked me to move in a few days ago, after seeing each other every weekend and most weeknights. I know we never questioned my time spent at his place and when we weren't at his, we were at mine.
But Jax's house just feels like home.
“Don’t you already fucking live there? I mean, you’re there like every day.” There it is. And she's not wrong as I already admitted. But something feels special about making it official.