Page 56 of Going All In

I step into the shower once the steam starts to billow out and dunk my head under the scalding spray. If Holly asked me, I could promise her that no matter how long or hard she looks, she won’t find someone who will love her more than I will. Not because I don’t think she can find someone who will love her. I absolutely think she will, and the idea terrifies me. I even think she could love them back.

But none of them will love her as much as I do. Like I said, I’m all in.

* * *

I spend the afternoon mulling over the events of the last twenty-four hours, taking a break only to go for a run and visit the store to pick up a bag of chips for tonight. I sent Holly one text—just one, I held back—and she hasn’t responded yet.

I need advice. Most people probably have a trusted source they turn to when they need advice or when they need to talk. I don’t, though, not really.

My mom is a solid source of advice, but I don’t want to entangle her in this whole thing. Plus, she’s planning a wedding. She has enough stress, even though she keeps insisting that this is a small ceremony. Addie and Josie are also off the table. They’re too close to things.

And who wants to talk to their sister about sex?

My sisters don’t need to know about sex. They’re pure angels as far as I’m concerned.

I need an impartial judge, and those are tough to come by.

I scroll through the contacts on my phone, hoping for inspiration. Not Cam or any of the poker guys. Not my college roommate. Not whoever Andrea is. I honestly can’t remember.

Maybe a one-night stand? Probably, but I used to be the kind of guy who had one-night stands and then forgot all about the girl in question. I never called them again. Until Holly, that is. Thinking of her makes me even more certain that I don’t need Andrea’s number, whoever she is. I delete the contact, then keep scrolling.

There’s one name toward the end that might be an option. I’m sure he’d give good advice, even if he’s biased. Or he might murder me, but that’s a chance I’m willing to take.

I hitSendand press the phone to my ear.

“Hello?” he answers on the second ring.

“Robert, hi. It’s, uh, Maddox. Judy’s son.” I don’t know why I’m so nervous. Actually, scratch that. I know exactly why I’m nervous. I’m on the phone with the father of the woman I’m falling for.

He chuckles. “Hi, Maddox. I know who you are. What can I do for you?”

“I have a question for you. Uh, more than just a question, actually. I need advice.” I pace around my bedroom, needing something to do.

“I’ve got plenty of that, son. You get old, you start to want to share your wisdom with the world.”

I squeeze my hand into a fist, then release. “It’s about Holly.”Please don’t murder me. It would ruin the wedding, and then my mother would murder me again.

“Mmm?”

Oh, hell. No sense beating around the bush now. “I like your daughter, sir. We actually met before we knew you and my mother were engaged. I’d like to take things further, but there’s something holding her back. Maybe something with her ex, but she won’t tell me enough to let me help her. There’s some reason she thinks we can’t possibly be seen dating at your wedding.”

Robert is silent for several moments. I hold my breath, hoping he’s not checking his shotgun or something.

Finally, he clears his throat. “Maddox, I think you’re a good man. I haven’t known you long, but from what I’ve seen and what your mother has told me, I’d be thrilled for you to be dating Holly. And you’re right, there are some things in her past you’re going to have to work through.”

He takes a breath, weighing his words carefully.

“At Marcy’s funeral—my late wife—there was an incident with her ex. She doesn’t know that I know the whole story, and it’s her story to tell, but suffice it to say that my extended family is particularly gossipy and judgmental. I think Holly was at an extremely vulnerable place at that time, and she’s conflated some of the grief and devastation she felt that day with how our family reacted to the events of the day.

“Now, I don’t give a rat’s ass about you being her stepbrother, as long as you treat my little girl right, and I think you will. And as critical as my family is, they mostly mean well, and we don’t see them often enough to really care what most of them think. This wedding will be the first time most of them are in the same place since Marcy’s funeral, and Holly probably won’t see them again until her own wedding, if she even chooses to invite them.”

As he speaks, the picture becomes clearer. The focus on the date for the wedding, one that looks good on paper. The horror at dating her stepbrother, at what people would think. And the absolute meltdown when Jared came to see her. He’s the one who did this to her.

I want to make him pay for what he did to her that day. For the way he’s made her question herself.

Now that I know, I don’t care about her pulling back from me these last weeks, because I understand. It was never about me, and this is something we can get past. I don’t take care if it takes weeks, months, even years.

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