Page 24 of Behind Amber Eyes

How can such an innocent conversation arouse me? I’m supposed to keep caution about me, not melt at his gaze like a lovesick teenager.

I glance up at him, biting my lip. I shouldn’t lean into the flirtations, but I can’t seem to stop. “I’m all for new experiences.”

He holds my gaze, smile slowly disappearing, eyes intense with desire. “That’s good to know.”

I’m grateful when our gaze is broken by the waiter coming to take our order. As we wait for our food, Arman explains what to expect from the tasting menu. I can only listen halfheartedly, his voice almost lulling me into a trance, and the way his fingers continue to caress my hand makes my arousal deepen. I’m about ready to jump him by the time the first course is set in front of us.

I recognize the base of the plate as rice, something that is still considered a staple in Society diet, but the meaty brown stew on top is new. Society citizens are mostly vegetarian, as meat is hard to come by within our borders.

“It’s lamb.” He takes a piece of flatbread, which was set in the middle of the table when our food was brought out, and hands it to me. “Try it.”

I take the offering, unintentionally grazing my fingers over his, and use it to scoop up some of the stew. As soon as the food hits my tongue, the flavor explodes. The meat is more tender than I’ve ever tasted before, and I close my eyes in pleasure.

When I hear Arman chuckle, I realize I’ve let out a small moan. I sit back in my seat, glancing around at the other patrons in hopes that nobody noticed. What is wrong with me?

He leans over and tenderly grabs my hand once again, this time as a comfort when he notices my embarrassment. “There are few pleasures in life as good as food.” He holds my gaze again, moving his hand up my wrist and forearm. “I hope to introduce you to those other pleasures at some point.”

I almost choke at the clear implications of his words. He has certainly gotten bolder throughout the night, and I can’t find the will to complain.

Though we have True Partners in the Society, that doesn’t mean that experimentation doesn’t happen in our youth. We tend to keep said experimentation to a minimum to avoid issues once our True Partnership is upon us, so I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m deeply experienced, but I have some under my belt. Arman’s confidence tells me he has much more.

I can’t help the pang of jealousy that hits me, like a bucket of cold water dumped over my head. It serves to cool me down a bit, and I can tell Arman is confused by my change in demeanor. He doesn’t bring it up, thankfully, and we continue with our meals. What right do I have to feel jealous over a man I metweeks ago? Why does he make me feel so…different than I have ever felt before?

By the time we finish our food, I am pleasantly buzzed, and all feelings of jealousy are gone and replaced once again with want. Not surprising, as all throughout the meal Arman kept one hand in mine, continuing that slow torture up and down my arm.

When he watches me sit back in my seat, hand on my stomach, he grins. “Let’s get out of here.” He stands and offers his hand to me, and then leads me out of the restaurant.

He pulls me down the street until we reach a dark road, loud music coming from the only building I see. This place has so many clubs and restaurants that it’s almost overwhelming. “Up for some dancing?”

I lean into his arm, enjoying his woodsy scent, like finely aged whiskey. He must take that as a yes because he leads me into the club without a second thought. I know I’m supposed to keep my distance, but I can’t find it in me to care anymore. What if I just…gave in? Only if it’s for one night, what if I just allow myself this small bit of fun?

The music intensifies immediately as he opens the door, the sound pulsing throughout my body. I can barely see the inside, the lights even lower than the first club we had gone to. All I notice are the writhing bodies on the dance floor, moving in time with the beat. There is definitely nothing like this in the Society. I can picture the Elders’ noses turning up at the thought.

Arman leans into me, his nose gently grazing the top of my head, before he murmurs in my ear, “Let’s go dance.”

I want nothing more than to pull him out of the club for some of our own “dancing” thanks to all his teasing caresses, but I ignore the urge and allow him to lead me to the middle of the dance floor. We fall in time with the beat, his hands on my hips and my arms around his neck. I gasp as he pulls me closer, my breath catching when I feel him hard against me. I nuzzle intohis neck, wanting every inch on my body against his, suddenly not caring if anyone notices.

I know what I’m doing is wrong, but I can’t help myself. He’s here and he’s everything I want, even though I can’t explain why. I run my hands up his arms and bring them around his neck so that I can press myself closer, earning a low groan from him in response.

We’re no longer moving in time with the music. He draws a hand up the side of my body and to my cheek, caressing lightly as he coaxes me to lift my head. I feel his breath on my lips, his nose gently knocking with mine as my eyes slide closed, heart beating wildly in anticipation.

I don’t feel the press of his mouth against mine, however. Instead, he moves past my lips and murmurs directly into my ear, “Before we do anything, I need to tell you.”

I barely register his words, too caught up in my own arousal to much care about answers right now. “Tell me what?” I ask breathlessly.

He pulls back from me, the desire in his eyes transforming into a mixture of affection and apprehension. I blink at the sudden loss but find the hazy cloud of arousal dissipating just enough for me to understand what he’s offering. He notices the shift in me and without another word, pulls me out of the crowd and through a door to the left. It leads to a quiet stairwell, and once we’re up the stairs he ushers me into a deserted bedroom.

My hands go clammy at the implications of where he’s led me. He’s brought me here to tell me everything, doing the gentlemanly thing and allowing me to make the choice once he’s bared it all. He’s about to reveal the truth,finally.

He sits next to me on the bed, keeping some distance between us. “I promised to tell you why I know you, even though you don’t know me. We’re getting closer, that’s clear.” He swallows, clearly nervous, and then grabs my hand. “And before we go anyfurther, it’s only fair that you know everything so that you can make an informed decision.”

I steel myself for whatever he’s about to reveal. It must be big if he’s acting like this over it. The wait for him to continue seems a thousand times worse than all those weeks I’ve waited to get to this point. Whatever he says next, I know will change me in ways I won’t be able to undo.

He takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes, determined to hold eye contact throughout his confession. “I know you have been told of myths where humans live multiple lives.”

That wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. He wants to talk about Society mythology? My brow furrows in confusion, but I nod.

He nods back, as if confirming with himself that I’m following, still holding my gaze. “What if I told you, it wasn’t mythology? That this wasn’t your first life, and in fact you’ve had many lives before.” At this point he can’t seem to keep eye contact as he looks down at our hands, his almost shaking. Not that I blame him; what he’s saying to me sounds mad. However, I promised to hear him out, so I don’t interrupt. “What if I told you that I know this because I have been there with you for almost all those lives. That we have spent centuries together, but we are cursed to start over every time your life ends.”

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