Page 25 of Behind Amber Eyes

What?

I take a moment to fully internalize his words, and once I do the room starts caving in and my vision blurs. What the hell is he talking about? Past lives aremyths,and I’ve certainly not had them. I yank my hands from his and stumble to my feet. I begin pacing the room, my mind going a mile a minute. What the hell is he talking about? Why would he say these things to me?

Arman stands but does not try to move closer to me. “I understand it’s a shock to hear, Amelia, but it’s true. You know that ascension is real. All Elders were human at one point, afterall. Granted, we fell in love when I was already ascended, so our situation is not exactly…normal.It’s almost unheard of to not ascend with your spouse.”

I stop dead in my tracks at his words, my heart nearly stopping.

Spouse?

I can’t stay here, I need to get away from Arman, from everyone and everything. These are lies, they have to be.

He’s a Dark Elder, and Dark Elderslie. I feel so stupid. How could I let myself believe the things he’s been telling me, the ways he’s been making me feel? I’ve betrayed my whole community, I’ve betrayed myTrue Partner, and for what? Lies?

I make a beeline for the door, but Arman blocks my path. I take a step back, refusing to make any contact with him, and for a heart-stopping moment I think he’s about to keep me here, captive.

He raises his hands in a sign of peace, his expression troubled. “Please, just give me another moment of your time. I promise to let you leave, if that’s what you choose, but please let me explain.”

I stand in place, arms wrapped around my middle as I stare at him in fear. I refuse to take my eyes off him, unsure what his true motives are.

I know he can see what I’m thinking; it’s clear on his face. Instead of commenting on it, he continues with his lies. “I did not have a spouse when I ascended. It was assumed that I was not meant to marry, instead to solely focus on magical practices, but then I metyou.” He hesitates, like he wants to take a step toward me, but decides against it. “That was centuries ago, but I still think about the moment I met you every day. It was the best day of my long life.” He looks down, eyes moist. “But that meant that I would have to wait for you, life after life, to finally ascend. And then the battle between the Society Elders and myown began, and afterward they made it almost impossible for humans to ascend.”

So that’s the story he’s going with. Of course. The Elders are actually bad, holding us all back. I feel sick. I fell for his tricksso easily.

This is when it hits me. The scriptures, theprophecies. The eyes. His eyes have flecks of gold.

Arman is the Dark Elder in the prophecies, he has to be. The man of many lives that lies to turn citizens against their kind. Just like he’s doingright now. I fell for the tricks just as the writings said.

And who better to fall for his tricks than a soon-to-be official? Not only that, but one who has been given free rein to foster her magical abilities? Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, and I blink them away.

But what does that mean for the Society? Those prophecies are meant to foretell a great war, something I never expected to take place during my lifetime. One that has the possibility of leading to the absolute eradication of the Society altogether, including its inhabitants. How did I never realize before? I should have known immediately, but every time I was around him, I became so fucking enamored.

Fuck, do I have something to do with the start of it all? Stupid, fucking human.

He’s still talking. “But we’ve managed to get you closer with every life, Amelia, and this life…” This time, he does take a step closer. “This life is meant to be your last.”

The silence between us is tense, but I don’t care. All I want to do is leave and never see him again and try to convince myself that I haven’t made a grave mistake not only for me, but for civilization as I know it.

He tries to catch my eye, to no avail. I won’t give him the satisfaction. He sighs but doesn’t move any closer. “Amelia, please. Say something.”

Finally, I look at him. I hold his gaze, just as he wanted, but whatever is in my eyes makes the last bit of hope leave his. I take a step back, refusing to break eye contact, as I say cold as ice, “Don’t ever fucking come near me again.”

With that, I run toward the door, refusing to look back as he calls my name.

This is it; this is what I needed to finally put him behind me. No matter what he tries, no matter what he says, I will never see Arman again.

Chapter 14

Since my last—and final—meeting with Arman, I’ve gone full force into event planning for my binding ceremony. When I’m not planning, I’m at the training center with my father. Both have kept me busy and have helped me distract my mind from everything that happened. From the guilt I feel at falling for such blatant lies and from the fear that something detrimental could happen to our home at any time.

I’ve almost convinced myself that I cut it off before Arman could fully infiltrate our community; after all, he was able to make his way in a few times on his own, so I’m assuming he needs more than quick access through the barrier to do any real damage. He needed me for something else, and though I have no idea what, no moves have been made on his part.

Yes, we’ll be fine. Everything is fine.

Planning has also allowed me to finally get closer to Elliot. I already knew that we meshed well—I could tell this from the first night. Arman made it too difficult for me to properly give Elliot a chance, though. Now that Arman isn’t a factor, the more time I spend with Elliot, the clearer it is that the Elders made the correct choice.

And yet, I still don’t feel…right.

Whenever the emptiness comes, I distract myself with more planning and dinner dates with Elliot. I convince myself that the hollow feeling is not real, it’s simply my bruised ego recovering from the whirlwind romance, if I can even call it that, that Arman forced me into.

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