Page 52 of Straight to Me

He used to joke about it all being a plan of Ronnie’s to the guys, to have a son on the other side. Ronnie would laugh, but it killed him. I could see that clearly. His pride for his son’s achievements versus the love for his club. Fortunately for Ronnie, he loved me and Jack hugely. His nephew the outlaw, his son the law enforcer. We kept him going.

Rocco lived back in the UK, but had come over due to turf issues with The Sodom Saviours. In one night, they had wiped out an entire charter of Rippers back home. It was bloody, quick and well organised. No member of the Sodom Saviours MC was ever charged with anything.

With that particular charter’s combustion, it meant one of our biggest channels in the UK was dead. Turf is everything in this game. We fight for turf. Turf allows for movement of drugs.

In our new diverse world, the market for moving them is expanding. We have to be craftier. Need to have more people helping us. Back then it wasn’t as complex. However, the war between us really started when we took revenge, or Rocco did, after the southerners got eradicated.

He single-handedly gunned down a Sodom Saviour Vice President in pure rage. No vote, no club decision. Just one man’s hatred.

We got it. We understood the need for revenge over what they did to the club back in the UK. But a bold move like that came with repercussions...

“VP?”

Mads's voice draws my eyes to hers. I rub my face with the palm of my hand. “Are you okay?” she asks, sitting on her knees to look at me properly. Even just remembering how things started forces a light sheen of sweat to blanket my forehead.

I’m ashamed that the words don’t come out easily. Mads told me about her past and I owed it to her, to us, to be able to share mine too. But my need to calm the storm threatening to rip through the air between us overrides any sharing I may have just been about to do.

“I’m fine, babe.” I hold my arm open and she crawls into my side, lowering her head to my chest once again.

“Are you sure?” I pull her closer, lowering my lips to kiss her head. I take a breath trying to steady the irregular rhythm of my heart.

I’ve avoided my fear of someone getting hurt on my watch, simply by not allowing anyone to get too close. My mother’s death wasn’t anyone’s fault, cancer stole her from me. But everyone else I lost after that was because fear had devoured them, had consumed them or someone close to them. It took away their ability to think clearly and see beyond any pain or anger they felt.

I know not talking about what happened hasn’t helped me. I realise it’s stopped me from living any kind of normal life away from the club, but since Mads came into my life, each day has become more bearable.

I owe her my life for choosing to walk into love with me with her eyes wide open.

I owe her my life for choosing to take every step I ask her to take with me.

I owe her my life for simply making the discomfort I feel every day, more comfortable.

“I am now.”

Half an hour later Mads stirs in my arms. I look down and wonder what lengths I would go to, to ensure no one ever hurt her. As she comes round, she spins, turning her face to me. Her body pushed up close to mine.

“Sorry, I must have drifted off.”

“You should be sorry, you snore like a freight train,” I tease. She playfully nudges me but doesn’t move to get up.

“When exactly do you fly out to Oz?” she yawns.

“We’llfly out in two weeks, have a week there before heading back.” The corners of her mouth raise to a smile.

“We’ll need to book our flights then?”

“I’ll sort it. Just need your passport details.”

“What about money?”

I can feel my face scrunch up at her at the mention of her paying. She sits up straight, pushing herself away from me. She’s going to argue about paying for the flights. “VP…” Her eyebrows raise, she goes to open her mouth to speak again, but I cut her off. My lips finding hers.

I keep them there until she settles into me. “I’ll take care of it. You don’t have to worry babe,” I say, lightly tracing my hands over her cheeks.

“I can pay for myself. I’ll have to check my account, make sure my half of the divorce settlement has come through, but it should have now.” I frown whenever I think of her ex not wanting her. Who wouldn’t want her?

She’s fucking perfect.

“How much is it anyway? The flights, I mean.”

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