Page 22 of Straight to Me

I fall asleep replaying all that had happened, especially the sex. It wasn’t the nicest environment to have an intimate moment, but the heat and passion we had shared was intense. Remembering the feel of his hands on my body would make me breakout in goosebumps. Never brave enough to go the whole way with myself, like I was some good girl, the thought of saving myself for him was starting to wear thin.

Very thin.

The clothes from that day still had his smell on them. I can’t bring myself to wash them. One whiff and my thighs twitch and that same heat always pours out from somewhere deep within. I would need release soon. “Food’s ready,” Bex shouts from the kitchen, dragging me from my thoughts. I grab my phone and make my way downstairs.

We sit together tucking into her homemade lasagne with a bottle of white on the go. “Have you heard from him again?” she asks.

I look up to her questioningly. “No. You think I should have?”

“I think you’ve moped around for weeks, just message him.”

“And say what? Hey, thanks for fucking me in the toilet, I think I love you!” Bex’s eyes widen suddenly.

I swallow my words, realisation of what I just said sinking in.

“Christ, I didn’t think you were saying that anymore?”

“I’m not… and I didn’t say Iwouldn’tsay it again, just, I won’t say it until I’m absolutely sure that nothing can go wrong.”

Her eyes flit between mine before dropping her knife and fork on her plate. “I still can’t believeyoudid something wild like that, with an outlaw,” she says, changing the direction of conversation. “I mean, he must drive you crazy for you not to have planned it all out. And to not even think about any consequences or repercussions.” She shakes her head as she picks up her cutlery again and takes another mouthful of food. “You did use protection, right?”

When I don’t reply her eyes widen further.

“I came on yesterday, it’s fine,” I tell her.

I didn’t get pregnant with Chris in the year we tried for a baby. There was no chance of a mistake happening the one time I spent with VP. I continue, "Plus my results came back all clear from the sexual health clinic, so stop worrying." As embarrasing as it was, I figured after finding out about Chris,andhaving unprotected sex, getting myself checked was a sensible idea.

“Hmph," she shrugs. "I still think you need to message him. Rip the bandage off. Does he know you're moving up there soon?”

I look up and she avoids my eyes. "Um, no he doesn't," I reply confused that she's not looking at me, "I didn't see the point when we don't even have a date set." Bex twists the knife in her fingers, still refusing to look at me. "Bex?" I question.

"Yeah, about that..." She looks at me with dark, wild eyes.

"What is it?"

Sipping her wine but immediately spitting it back into the glass, she walks away from me to wash up at the sink. I can tell she's worried about something. “Madison, I need to talk to you.”

“I know.” A little laugh escapes me, lightening the mood.

She throws herself at me, wrapping her arms so tight around my neck that I’m worried I’ll stop breathing. Plus, we never hug, so something is definitely wrong. “Okay, okay, that’s enough of that,” I say pushing her away. “Talk to me.”

“First of all, I want you to know that Kyle and I love you.”She’s pregnant. “Sorry, I’m making more of a deal out of this than it needs to be.”Pregnancy will do that to you. “He wanted to be here, but thought maybe I should tell you alone…”

“Oh my god just say it!”

She pauses before saying, “I’m pregnant.”I knew it!

“That’s great news, Bex! I’m so happy for you!” I hug her, not caring that we don’t normally hug anymore, but she’s not matching my energy.

“Madison,” she sniffs, “the house move... it's been brought forward."

She stills and I freeze momentarily, my arms still wrapped around her.

When we eventually move apart, Bex starts fiddling with her fingers, twisting them round and round in her hand. “We'd already found the perfect house, around the time you came to stay with us. We stalled buying, but it came back on the market a few days ago. We didn’t know we were pregnant then, but, I mean, we only found out yesterday. It’s all happening so fast.”

She didn’t tell me they had already found the perfect house. I literally fell into her lap, stopping her from doing what she wanted.

Me and my stupid problems.

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