Page 127 of Straight to Me

Tonight is what matters right now.

Driving to the mill, none of us talk. The three of us know what we’re doing. This wasn’t our first time getting retribution.

Travis rolls the van steadily closer to the mill, passing through two gates. He cuts the engine and rolls to a stop two hundred yards away from the entrance. We count five bikes and a van parked outside, a Sodom Saviour leant up against the side of it, having a smoke. I can’t help but let out a sadistic laugh. “They need this many men for me?”

Travis turns his head slowly to face me. “We stick to the plan,” he says in a hushed voice. “They said they’re heading to the clubhouse for ten pm. That gives us just over forty-five minutes to get this done.” I smile. Their plan was fruitless, thinking they could stroll up to our clubhouse and take me out. Little did they know I would have been at home drowning my sorrows, keeping the nightmare that is my life at bay.

I can just picture their faces when they see me… that moment before they lose their life and they realise they fucked up. “Beats, the bag,” Travis says. Beats passes a black duffel bag between the front seats and we each take out a balaclava. I don’t see the point. I want them to see me.

“I’ll go first,” Travis says. “Dean, you cover me when I take out the Saviour out front. Beats, as soon as we go, get the petrol drum out the back, Dean will come back to help you.” Beats nods, and I follow similarly, pulling the balaclava down over my face.

Travis jumps out of the van. For such a big guy, he moves quickly towards the building. I get out too and watch as he startles the Saviour stood outside. His arm wraps around the Saviour’s throat, squeezing the life from him as he drags him round to the other side of the van, out of sight.

Pulling out my knife, I tread closer, keeping my steps light on the gravel. Travis’s eyes widen, wondering what I’m doing, but I ignore him. Standing face to face with the Saviour, I plunge the blade under his ribs from the side.

That’s for Jack.Travis quickly covers the stifled cry that drains from him, and I watch as the Saviour’s eyes close.

Travis lets the Saviour’s body thud to the ground, his eyes never leaving me. He walks past me without saying a word, knocking into my shoulder as he makes his way to Beats.

I turn on my heels and head for the entrance to the mill, unperturbed.

When Travis spots what I’m doing, he’s too late to stop me. “Dean!” I hear him shout on an angry, hushed breath. “Stupid motherfucker,” he adds. I turn my head briefly and see him running to help Beats, the two of them carrying on with the original plan.

Tucking my knife away, I kick the wooden door to the mill open and the clattering noise it makes as it swings off its hinges, draws the attention of the remaining Saviours stood inside.

Their heads swing to me, eyes wide.

They step forwards, all of them, fists clenched, eyes fixed on me. “Thought I’d make things easier for you,” I say arrogantly, my need to kill every one of them overshadowing the fact that there’s five against one.

The shock of my entrance hangs in the air and I don’t miss the look that two of them exchange, clearly wondering how I knew they’d be here before coming after me. I take another step closer, one Saviour mirroring my steps. “How’s that cousin of yours?” he goads.

As if watching from above, I see my hand swipe for my knife before my brain even registers what I’m doing, and I plunge the blade through his gut. He drops to his knees and a white light of anger clouds my vision.

Two other Saviours charge me. I barely have a chance to remove my knife from his flesh before a punch lands on the side of my face. I stumble back, my head swimming.

This isn’t normal.

Normally I could withstand a punch. But I’m weak, the endless days spent drinking and not eating have left me unable to fight back. When he hits me again and I hit the ground, I know I’ve fucked up.

We never spoke a word, but I could hear every thought Travis had on the drive back to mine.

Walking through the front door, I go to kick it shut behind me, but he pushes his way in. He looks at me, eyes blazing like he could kill. “What're you doing?” I start, but he grabs me by my cut, squaring his face up to mine as he smashes my back against the wall.

“You were reckless back there. That’s not how we do things,” he snarls. Shocked by his hands on me, I grab at his wrists as he continues, “You, more than anyone knows that.”

Heat rises through my bones. I know what I did was stupid. The drive back here gave me time to think about it. I fucked up; put Travis and Beats in danger having to come in all guns blazing to get me out.

“Get the fuck off me, Travis.”

“Not until you see what’s happening here.”

I try to push his hands down, but he barely moves. “I said, get the fuck off me.” He eventually lets me go, giving me a final shove backwards. I straighten out my clothes, glaring at him. He doesn’t move or look as though he’ll back down.

“Tell me, what’s happening then?” I say, pushing the words through gritted teeth.

“You already know.”

The recklessness. My need for revenge. I’ve become a shadow of the men I watched before me.

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