Page 122 of Straight to Me

My heart all but stops at his words. My chest feels tight as air struggles to fill my scorching lungs.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying it’s over, Mads.” Chest pounding up and down, pictures of our time together swirl around me, spinning me into a dizzy state. An eternity passes before I find the strength to speak.

“You lied,” I say quietly. His eyes look to mine. “You said you’d never stop loving me.” I look away to the floor. “You’re all the same.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Chris, you, it’s always the same. I fall in love with a man who doesn’t love me back.”

That hurt him. He falters on the spot, clearly shaken at my comparing him to Chris. A man he’s never met but hates for hurting me.

“This is nothing like what you had with him!”

“The journey was different, but the ending’s the same. I told you I loved you, and everything changed. It’s the same.” I drop my head, crossing my arms across my chest again.

“I’m not trying to hurt you, Mads. I’m trying to protect you.” He thinks about stepping closer to me, I can see it, but I turn away, needing my glass of water. With my back to him, I take a long sip as he continues speaking. “Shit with the club is going to get out of control now. I can’t do what I need to and keep you safe at the same time. I’ve made that much clear.”

“Stop,” I say and turn to look at him. He looks at me stone-walled, but I can’t hear him hating himself. “Stop saying you can’t protect me. Just be honest, you’re scared. Scared of things you can’t control…”

He doesn’t move, he only clenches his jaw. “You’re right. I can’t control what happens next, but I can make sure that you’re as far away from me as possible when it does happen, because it will, Mads. My track record of people close to me getting hurt is… well, you know how it ends.”

My eyes fill with water as he shoves his hands into his pockets.

“You’re too good to be with a man like me.”

“A man like you?” I sniff. “So now you’re suddenly aware of what it is that you do?”

Eyebrows raised, he considers his response.

“Yeah, a man like me. An outlaw piece of shit Mads. You’re better off without me and my issues.”

“I don’t want to be without you,” I say, pulling the ends of my jumper over my hands as I wipe the tears away.

“Please don’t get upset.”

That irritates me. “Don’t get upset?” I say on a huff. “You’re sacrificing what we have, because youloveme… and you thought you could do that without me gettingupset?” I can feel myself getting angrier.

“I do love you, Mads, and hearing you say you love me back,” he shakes his head, eyes closed, “that’s why I have to be unselfish here. You need to be with someone who makes you happy, not someone who puts your life in danger.”

Rather than tell him that it’s him who makes me happy like I want to, a cord snaps inside me.

“Get out.”

“What?”

“I said get out.” I push the words past the burning lump in my throat. The tears come full force as my heart’s smashing wildly in my aching chest. Fate or not, deep down I knew this would happen. Knew that falling in love again would mean I get hurt.

His eyes take in my injuries as much as my tears.

“I can’t leave you like this,” his voice breaks.

“You can’t have it all your own way.” Dropping his head slightly, he turns on the spot before heading towards the door. Every step he takes cuts a small hole in my soul.

I sob uncontrollably, falling down the cabinet to the floor and ignoring the pain in my ribs for the new one in my chest. My head drops into my knees as my arms hold onto my legs as if it’ll stop the shaking.

He doesn’t shut the door straight away, maybe because he sees me crying. For a second, I expect him to come charging back to me, but the lock clicks and my VP is gone.

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