Page 121 of Straight to Me

“Because Ronnie told you to?”

“What?”

“I heard him at the hospital. He told you to end it whilst you still could.” His face looks stony, stunned even. Every part of me fights to stop the tears flowing as we look to each other, our eyes connecting, still reflecting love.

“Mads, I don’t know what to say.” He rubs his equally exhausted face before holding his hands on his head. He’s looking up to the ceiling and I wonder if he’s trying to stop himself from crying. Finally dropping his head to look at me again, his eyes are shiny.

“Just say whatever it is that you’ve been planning on saying the whole flight home,” I tell him.

Putting his hands in his pockets, he sighs. “It was a mistake.” Nodding my head in a slow, contemplating way, my lips tighten across my face.

“I’m a mistake?”

He steps closer when I say nothing more. I refuse to look at him, instead fixing my eyes on one spot. I don’t want to cry. I have to save face. I should have known at some point this whirlwind romance would come crashing down on me.

“Youweren’t a mistake, Mads. That’s not what I meant.”

“And yet, that’s what you said.”

“Don’t twist my words,” he smarts, scratching at his hair quickly.

“Don’t twist your words? VP, you haven’t touched me, haven’t kissed me, haven’t even looked at me like you normally do since Saturday. What am I supposed to think?”

Turning away from me, he walks to the opening of the lounge. My body starts shivering uncontrollably. A mixture of adrenaline and fear overwhelming me.

“It’s my fault, Mads!” he barks, with his back to me.

“How? How is it your fault?”

“Because I should never have let you come with me. I was selfish.”

“You didn’t know what was going to happen, how could you have known that?” I step towards him, and he clenches his jaw.

“Ishould have driven you out of there. It should bemein the hospital, not Jack,” he finally says what’s been eating him up inside.

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened. Jack wouldn’t want you to do that—”

“How would you know?” he spits, his words puncturing like viper fangs.

Narrowing my eyes to him, heat rises on my face. “I guess I don’t.”

I look down and fiddle with my thumbs, my heart hurting at his dismissal of my connection to what happened. “All I know is what I saw. You shot someone shooting at us, and you killed the man who took us. Jack promised you that he would keep me safe, and he did.”

His face is hard, his eyes penetrating mine. “And if me and Harper had been a minute later, you could have been dragged into the woods and ended up like…” he can’t finish his sentence.

Giving him a moment, he looks around the room, his eyes moving wildly.

“Is that what yours and Jack’s promise was? When you spoke to him in the hospital? To never let what happened to his mum happen again?” He closes his eyes and his fists clench, knuckles cracking loudly. “VP?”

I walk to him wanting to comfort him. Moving my hands slowly, he lets me run them up his arms. He opens his eyes and watches me, his muscles relaxing at my touch. His breath steadies as my hands move, stopping at his shoulders. Moving swiftly, his arms then drag me into a tight embrace. I close my eyes, savouring him as I wrap my hands around his neck.

The way he’s holding me is how I know him, with his hand scrunching my hair, moving with passion and love, kissing my forehead. I see a slither of promise that all is not lost. He drops his head into my shoulder, burying himself in me. My hands smooth over his hair and my thumb strokes the back of his neck.

This is what we need, each other, our closeness.

Inhaling, he suddenly shatters my thoughts as his hands push me away. “VP?” Composing himself, every part of the man I know disappears before my eyes. The tears that seconds ago began filling his eyes evaporate before me.

“I can’t be your VP anymore.”

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