Page 157 of Straight to Me

“He’s cute.” I consider this.He’s not ugly.But no, I don’t think of Alex that way. I wonder if he got mixed signals by my accepting his drink offer, his comment certainly makes me feel like he has.

I dance with Bex and Jess for another ten or so songs. We sing along or pretend to know the words to each one, laughing at our made-up lyrics. Feeling the tension of earlier disappear, it’s just me, Bex and Jess and nothing else in the world could touch us.

“Madison?” I spin around from Bex, to see who’s said my name, expecting to find Alex again. Instead, my blood boils at the sight of who it really is.

This night started off so good. And what’s ruining it? Men.“What the fuck are you doing here, Chris?”

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chris is dressed far too casual for a night out. He stands on the dancefloor looking blankly at me. “I just need five minutes of your time, Madison.” I turn to Bex with an exaggerated fake laugh, the anger I already felt atDean telling Travis to stop me drinking too much, comes back tenfold at the sight of Chris.

“You came all this way for five minutes?” Bex says sharply. “You wasted a journey!”

“Madison, please,” Chris pleads.

From behind Chris, Travis suddenly appears, catching my eye. He’s watching us. I sigh frustrated. “Bex.” She leans in closer to hear me say, “I’ll be outside, keep dancing. I’ll message if I need you to come out.” She nods, understanding and takes the glass of wine from me. I turn back to Chris. “Five minutes,” I tell him, not wanting to cause any drama.

Luckily, we don’t have to walk past Travis to go outside. Fortunately, he’s also now distracted by a group of women trying to get him to dance with them.

Bex and Jess continue dancing as I make my way out the back door with Chris following behind. Once we’re outside I take in a breath of chilly evening air. The music is considerably muffled here.

I turn to Chris. “What is it you have to say?” He smiles at me, his dark brown eyes making me feel slightly uncomfortable. It’s amazing how you can go from loving someone, then you remember sleeping with them and the thought of it makes you cringe, making you wonder what you ever saw in them in the first place.

“You look good, Madison.” I’m raging internally as I start walking back inside. I don’t have the patience for this. “Wait! I’m sorry. Please, hear me out.” I look at the hand he put on mine pointedly and wait until he removes it before turning back to him. “Sofia’s gone. Said she couldn’t be with me anymore.”

To be honest, I’m a little surprised by that, but not so bothered by his stammering words and hurt expression. I raise my eyebrows breathing in sharply.

“Why’re you telling me this?”

“She left me, Madison... I can tell by your face that you don’t care, do you?”

“Not really.”

He sighs. I’m guessing he’s shocked at my lack of enthusiasm to hear his life story. Likely thought I’d be over the moon to hear it. But I don’t feel anything. He could easily have told me what he had for breakfast, and I’d have had the same reaction.

“What’s any of this got to do with me?” I ask.

“I caught her cheating. Found messages and overheard her on the phone with another man.”

“Right, and that’s my concern how?”

“When she left, she told me the baby isn’t mine.”Oh. “I’ve bought everything, the pram, the cot, the car seats, everything. And it’s not even mine.” He rubs his head with a hand, he looks tired.

Funny that he seems to care more about the expenses than the actual lie. I should be glad he got a taste of what he did to me. But I kind of feel sorry for him. I realise I might regret my next question.

“How can she be so sure it’s not yours?”

“That’s what I said. But given how long you and I took trying, I went for a fertility test after she’d left.”

I hold my breath; my mouth slightly opens as his next words come out. This is not where I thought this conversation would be going. “Sofia’s right. The baby can’t be mine. It’s me, I’m the one who can’t have children.”

I close my eyes, shutting them tight. If I can’t see him, then he might not be there. He might disappear and none of it will be real. When I open them again he’s staring at me.

Heat ignites like an inferno in my ears. My hands move subconsciously to my temples, massaging in small circles. This can’t be happening.

Overwhelmed, the blood drains from my skin. I feel a blackness swallowing me from every angle.

“Madison, say something.”

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