Page 129 of Straight to Me

“Because that’s just how it is. Life isn’t easy for some people, Miss.”

She runs her pre-matured gaze over my body and I can’t help but ask, “What makes you think my life’s easy, Lauren?”

“I dunno. Your clothes, your hair. Plus, Alex, uh Mr Thorne, said you had a boyfriend with a Harley. That means you have money.”

I’m confused she thinks my hair is nice considering I don’t do anything to it. I laugh a little before the second part of her sentence hits home. “I don’t have money Lauren, the bike’s his, not mine.”

“Well, it sure looks like you do. My dad used to own a forty-eight. I like Harleys,” she says, shrugging her shoulders.

Alex told me Lauren’s dad had died when she was nine. Her mum had left not long after, leaving Lauren and her brother in care. She probably liked Harleys because they reminded her of her father. “Do you reckon he’d let me see his bike, your other half? Think you could ask him?” she says.

I don’t want to lie to her and say yes. I also don’t want to say no. This could be a way for us to bond. “I can ask him.” I try not to think about the fact that he hasn’t even replied to my last text. I tell myself to just change the subject.

“Right, want me to come in with you or are you going in alone? I don’t want to cramp your style or anything.”

“I’ve got it, Miss.”

I smile at her. “Okay, well, you have my number now, you can call me whenever you need. Plus, I’ll be in the building this morning, so I won’t be far.”

“Right,” she says adjusting her bag on her shoulder, “see you later.”

Watching her walk away, I feel bad for giving her hope of seeing Dean’s bike. I check my phone again and my heart pangs at his lack of contact. I throw it to the bottom of my bag and decide not to let it ruin my day. Taking in a deep breath, I hold my head up high before starting my new career.

I spend all morning devising a plan for me and Lauren to stick to, printing one for her and one for me. It outlines when she should be studying and attending the councilling sessions that Alex and I arranged for her.

Alex messages me with an apology for texting rather than using email. He says his laptop wasn’t working and that he’d asked Vivian for my number. A patchy story, considering everyone has access to emails on their phones nowadays. But I’m grateful for his checking in. We agree to meet tomorrow whilst Lauren has her first session with her social worker.

As lunch time rolls round, Lauren and I meet in the school canteen. I’m not overly hungry though after my appetite totally diminished since Dean left. Not just that, I've stupidly been mixing alcohol with pain killers.

Definitely not one of my brighter ideas.

Lauren explains how her first few lessons have been, when my phone vibrates on the table. The letters ‘VP’ flash at me. My breathing becomes unsteady and my nostrils flare as a million questions start buzzing around in my head. Why now? Was he ok? What does he want?

“You know when it vibrates like that, you’re meant to answer it, Miss.”

I can’t, not here. What if I break down? “Uh, yeah, I know, sorry,” I say, shaking my head at Lauren. “It’s nothing, I’ll call them back later. So, tell me, how were your new teachers?”

She tells me about how her English teacher almost made her fall asleep. But my phone interrupts her again.

“Why don’t you just answer it, Miss?”

“I can’t. We’re talking.”

“You’re staring at the screen like you’ve seen a ghost, just answer it.”

Every part of me wants to. I pick it up and turn away from Lauren slightly. I swipe the answer button to the right and slowly lift my phone to my ear.

“Hello.”

“Mads?” My god. His voice. I can’t move. I didn’t realise how much I’d missed hearing him until this moment. “Are you there?”

“I’m here,” I manage calmly.

“Mads.” I close my eyes, rubbing my temple. His voice suddenly doesn’t sound right.

“What’s wrong?”

“I need you.”

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