Page 70 of Jagged Little Pieces

I don’t know the answer. Lately, everyone’s been falling in love and having babies. The club’s gotten softer. Our youngest member, Yagger, is now broken and may never ride again.

All these years, the club refused to recruit new guys or outsource most responsibilities. None of us wanted to admit we’ve been slowing down. The weekly parties aren’t any different than they were two decades ago. Except the girls remain young while we got older.

“I can’t picture the club’s future,” I tell Hobo when he steps outside to get a break from the noise inside.

“You best not tell Ruin that. He’ll micromanage every damn thing if he believes others are in doubt.”

“I don’t feel old.”

“Neither do I, but I don’t feel young, either.”

Nodding, I explain, “I want to be able to build a life with Austen. I really think she’s the one for me. But I’m nervous about what will happen in McMurdo Valley if we’re all settled down.”

Hobo rubs his bearded jaw and frowns at me. “I’m not the one to brainstorm with.”

“Well, you’re the one standing out here with me.”

Though he seems grumpy and ready to walk away, Hobo ends up staying put and muttering, “I’m planning on keeping Xenia. But telling me the club won’t survive isn’t making me feel any better about adding that woman to my life.”

“Well, maybe we can come up with a solution to the problem. That way, we can keep the women we want without living in denial.”

“You see a therapist too much.”

Smirking at his grumpy expression, I explain, “I used to worry I’d get weird because of my parents, as if their crazy was hereditary. But I learned it’s just indoctrination. They were programmed like they programmed my siblings. The indoctrination didn’t stick with me. I never would have really understood their bullshit without therapy.”

“I don’t need therapy to spell out how my parents are fucking insane.”

“No, I guess that’s obvious with your parents.”

Hobo grumbles to himself over something before the tension leaves him. “Is this thing with the ranch hands really over? I’m tired, and my body hurts, but I can’t rest in a real way. What if they show up here and Xenia gets hurt?”

“If I didn’t believe they were dead, I wouldn’t have brought Austen here.”

“What about her shitty family?”

“Erik isn’t a threat currently. Urick won’t survive the year. Peter might need putting down, but I haven’t decided.”

“Urick reminds me of those cat-hoarder ladies from the show Dice watches. They figure they’re heroic for taking them all in, but they only end up causing more problems,” Hobo says and glances back at the house as if Austen might appear and scold him. “I don’t see Peter hiring broken men to run his ranch. He knows he’s a dumb, lazy bitch. Maybe they’ll hire decent folk in the future.”

“They can certainly afford it.”

Hobo scratches at his jaw again, and I feel him plotting. “You know if your woman were to take pity on her dad and visit him, she could let him know about what that man said. The one who claimed he was going to get paid for killing Austen.”

“She won’t visit her father.”

“I don’t know. Urick’s bound to find out she’s here. When he reaches out, a woman like her might feel an uncontrollable need for closure.”

“How would he know or reach out?”

“Urick’s top guy is the real brains behind the ranch these days. No doubt Mack will find out Austen’s here. They were watching Austen in Banta City, right?”

“If it was Xenia’s problem, how would you handle it?”

“If I learned anything from little Fiona Rogers, it’s how a harmless daughter can get their daddy to do things.”

“You think I should ask Austen to get Urick to kill Peter?”

“Or cut him out of the will. That ranch is going to someone when Urick dies. If he leaves it to Peter, we’ll always have issues with him or his boys. Rather than loose-cannon ranch hands, there’ll be power plays to skim territory from us. His boys will be young men when we’re inching toward our sixties. No way can we keep McMurdo Valley at that point.”

---