Page 17 of My Little Girl

I stop reading and stare at my reflection in the mirror. The girl staring back at me is one I don’t recognize. Her eyes are reddened from tears, dark circles underneath, skin pale, and lips set in a grim line. I take a deep breath and release it as I watch the girl do the same.

You can do this. It’s just one pill.

With shaky hands, I take out the small pill and place it on my tongue. Eyes fixed on my reflection, I grab the glass of water and gulp it down.

Taking another big breath, I set down the cup and turn on the shower, ready to clean the day off my body. As I step under thescalding water, I empty my mind and focus instead on the feel of the stream hitting my skin.

Nothing’s changed.

That same mantra enters my brain and plays on a loop as I scrub away the feel of large hands, hot mouth, and rough fingers from my skin.

Nothing’s changed.

Chapter 10

Killian

I wait for the boy to leave before I make my way up to her apartment. Testing the door to apartment 847, I’m amused to find it unlocked.

She’s lucky I’m not here to kill her.

I silently laugh to myself, quickly snuffed out by the reminder.

You should be.

Pushing away the unwanted thought, I step into the familiar space. I hear the sound of the shower turning on and decide to take a look around.

Much like her bedroom, the rest of the apartment is sparsely decorated. A couple small mismatched couches face a tv stand with a banged up coffee table nestled between them. All her furniture appears to be thrifted with no real common theme or design. Her walls are bare and the only plant in the space rests on the L-shaped kitchen counter. It’s a little green leafy thing that is dying from neglect.

With a snicker, I grab the plant and run it under some water. “There you are.” I murmur, setting it back down on the counter.

The kitchen houses only a refrigerator, stove, and sink. The counters have an old coffee maker and microwave but lack any other appliances. The space is such a vast contrast to my own that I have the strange urge to fill her place with all the modern day necessities.

Shoving the intrusive desire away, I turn toward the only other door, assuming it must be the bathroom. I creep toward the sound of water and slowly push open the door. I can hear Avamarie in the shower as she occasionally bumps against the plain shower curtain, making it crinkle. My eyes drift over the room and I notice a small box on the counter. It’s been ripped into and I find my curiosity piqued.

Sneaking further inside, I snatch it up and read the label. My brows furrow as I try to recall what it’s for, knowing I’ve heard the name before. Turning the box over, I read the directions and my breath stops.

Take within seventy-two hours of unprotected sex…one pill can help prevent unplanned pregnancy.

I drop the box as if it’s burned me. “Fuck.” I mutter under my breath, glancing at the shower in the mirror to make sure she didn’t hear me. Turning on my heel, I speed out of the room and out of the apartment, my mind racing.

Reckless. So goddamn reckless.

I had been planning to kill her immediately after so I hadn’t worried about a condom. Like a horny teenager.

I growl, stopping to punch a nearby tree on the way to my car.

I’m almost fifty fucking years old. Too damn old to make stupid mistakes like this.

Storming the rest of the way, I slip into my car and slam the door shut.

That’s it. No more. I’m done. I cannot afford this, I can’t afford any more mistakes.

Shoving my car into reverse, I speed away from the woman I know needs to die. The one person I know I can never end.

Chapter 11

Avamarie

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