Page 18 of My Little Girl

It’s been a little over a month since my night with Killian. I haven’t had any more unexpected visits or texts. A part of me is upset he used my body and disappeared but I’m mostly relieved.

The professor drones on about some statistic and I’m hit with a sudden wave of nausea. Shooting up from my seat, I rush to thebathroom with my hand clamped down on my mouth. I barely make it into the stall before I spew my breakfast. When the heaving subsides, I sit back on my heels with a grimace. My chest has healed for the most part but sudden moves still send an ache through my body.

I push off from the ground, flushing the toilet and heading to the sink to wash my hands. I swish some water in my mouth and splash a bit on my face before heading back out. Exiting the restroom, I bump into someone.

“Sorry.” I mutter, peeking up.

Tyler glares down at me before recognition crosses his face. His angry scowl is quickly replaced with a goofy grin. “Hey Ava. Ditching class?” He chuckles with a quirked eyebrow.

I shake my head, my own lips pulled up into a grin. “That would be a cold day in hell and you know it.” I tease back, shoving him with my shoulder. “I just had to use the restroom.” I gesture behind me, my face flushing as the reminder sends another queasy feeling through me. Swallowing it down, it’s my turn to raise an eyebrow at him. “And what are you up to mister?” I demand, placing a hand on my hip.

He holds up his hands with a feigned innocence. “Who? Me? I’m not up to anything.”

I snort.

Yeah right.

He chuckles. “Okay, you caught me. I couldn’t listen to another minute of Mr. Grosaund lecturing about the importance of communication in a relationship. If I wanted to listen to someone so obviously speaking out of their own depth, I would just turn on the news and listen to the former president go on about how he would be doing things ‘so much better’.” Tyler purses his lips and makes air quotes around the last words.

Laughing, I smack his arm playfully. “Oh he can’t be that bad.” I chastise between giggles.

Tyler exaggeratedly rolls his eyes. “Trust me. He is.”

My heart warms at our familiar banter. I had been worried after that day that we would drift apart. He surprised me though. Even after I had declined his request for a date, our relationship didn’t change.

I’m grateful for the constant but still find myself wishing I hadn’t had that late night visitor so I could be with my best friend as I had wanted for so long. Rebound or not, if it weren’t for Killian, I know if we had givenusan honest chance, Tyler would be hooked.

As it is, whenever I try to picture myself with anyone, they always fade away only to be replaced by the one person I desperately want to forget.

My stomach sours and I excuse myself, rushing back into the bathroom to double over the toilet once more.

If I didn’t know any better I’d be worried I was pregnant.

I laugh to myself as I clean up again. My mind travels back to the days following the morning-after pill and I calculate the time between then and my period. My hands freeze under the water as the days keep going and I don’t remember my monthly visitor stopping by.

No, that can’t be right.

Shutting off the faucet and drying my hands, I pull out my phone. Checking the calendar, I confirm that my period is late.

Fuck. No. No. I took the pill. There’s no way.

I’m numb staring down at the small screen. Almost in a trance, I pull up the web browser and quickly search:failed morning-after pill. The search results pop up and I quickly peruse several, all offering the same explanation.

The morning-after pill may be less effective for those weighing over 165lbs.

My eyes water as I read the text.

Great, now even a fucking pill is fat shaming us.

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.

How is this not more public knowledge?

Everyone knows about these but I swear I have never heard this before. My two-hundred pound ass would definitely have remembered if I had.

My lungs stop working as it hits me that I could actually be pregnant. Eyes flashing to the stall, my fingers tighten around my phone as I turn toward the door and leave.

I guess it’s a cold day in hell after all.

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