Page 57 of Dirty Saint

That didn’t make any sense, but I pressed on anyway.

“Did you love him?” I asked, not wanting to know the answer.

“I didn’t really know him.” She scoffed.

Strange.

That didn’t seem like something a girl like Tori would do.

“I can’t picture you doing something like that.”

“Something like what?” Her brows pulled low with confusion.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Giving your virginity to someone you didn’t know doesn’t seem like something you’d do.”

“I didn’tgivehim anything.” She chuckled sarcastically.

The way she said it sent a spark of fire down my spine.

No.

There was no way she was saying what I thought she was saying.

“What are you saying, Tori?” I turned her way, resting my knee on the couch and focusing on her.

She shrugged like it was no big deal, but I could tell it was fucking massive by her expression. Without her even saying the words, I knew. I fucking knew, and somehow it left a feeling inside me worse than anything I had ever felt before. Worse than Lorne’s hands on me. Worse than all of it.

“Were you raped?” My question broke across my lips, sounding forced and rusty.

Her eyes met mine, and they glistened as tears slowly developed.

“Fuck,” I whispered.

I stood, needing to move. The pit of my stomach burned, sinking in molten lava and leaving a scorched taste across my tongue. I would find out who he was and show him exactly what it felt like to be abused.

“When?”

She shook her head and swiped at a lone tear on her cheek. “It doesn’t matter, Koah. It was a long—”

“When?” I asked again, cutting her off midsentence.

“Seriously, Koah, let’s just drop it. I shouldn’t have even said anything.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and forced myself to calm down. I took a deep breath and said, “I won’t ask again.”

I hadn’t meant to direct my anger toward her, but I felt I would explode if I didn’t find out when, where, and who.

“When I was fourteen. I was placed in a foster home with a boy close to my age. I guess he liked me.”

I swallowed hard and gritted my teeth, my throat feeling like it was swelling shut. Tori was raped as a kid, just like me, and it was my fault. I was the reason it happened to her. If I had known, I would have never opened my mouth. If I had known, I would have taken my secrets to the grave and let Lorne live his disgusting life if it meant Tori was cared for. If it meant she would have never known the feeling of being forced—the sense of having your soul ripped from you.

“It’s my fault.” I spoke my thoughts. “If I had just kept my fucking mouth shut, you wouldn’t have been there. It wouldn’t have happened.”

She moved into me, resting her small palms on my cheeks. Her face was red and blotchy; her eyes rimmed with pain and emotion I knew too well. “That wasn’t your fault. None of this is. If I blame anyone, I blame him.”

She didn’t need to elaborate on who she was talking about. It seemed neither of us could even speak his name anymore.

“Tell me who hurt you. Give me the fucker’s name. I’ll find him, and I’ll kill him.”

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