Page 58 of Dirty Saint

And I would.

I would put a gun between the sick fuck’s eyes and end him. The fucker deserved it, whoever he was, and if I knew one thing, it was a predator never stopped. If he had done it once, he was probably still doing it.

“All I remember is his first name was Donald, but I don’t want to drudge up old memories. Promise me you’ll keep my secrets, Koah. Promise me you’ll bury them with your own.”

I wanted redemption for Tori, but I understood her wanting to bury the black. I did it every day.

“I’ll never tell a soul,” I promised.

And I wouldn’t. For as long as I lived, Tori’s secrets were mine. That didn’t mean I would stop asking for the fucker’s name.

She moved into me, embracing me in a way I hadn’t allowed anyone to in many years. I rested my chin on top of her head and breathed her in. We were broken as fuck. Our pasts curled around each other like a fucking snake, destroying us in a way that only others like us would understand. When I put my arms around her and held her to me, I felt peace for the first time in a long time.

We stayed that way for a bit—holding each other—soothing the other’s broken parts, and when she pulled back and looked at me with shining eyes and a soft mouth, I knew there was no way I could hold back when it came to Tori.

I leaned down and captured her lips with mine. If holding her made the demons run, what would kissing her make them do?

16

Tori

Ineverimaginedmyfirst kiss would be with the boy I spent half of my life despising, but it happened. The feel of him, his scent all around me, was unlike anything I had ever experienced. He pulled me closer, and I melted into him, feeling at ease for the first time in many years.

I wasn’t disgusted. I wasn’t afraid. I knew Koah would never do anything to hurt me. I’m not sure how I knew, but the feeling settled in my chest and soothed my heart. For the first time in a long time, I felt protected.

His large hand moved up my back, getting lost in the hairs at the back of my neck. Chills ran down my spine and made me shiver. He pulled back and looked down at me, his light eyes searching and his mouth swollen from our kiss.

“Are you okay?” he asked breathlessly.

I nodded, capturing his cheeks and pulling him down for more.

He kissed me harder, pulling sounds from me that sounded gentle and soft. That was what he was doing to me. He was making me weak with his kisses—taking away the Tori who had taken care of everything since she was thirteen and replacing her with someone submissive who would do anything to ease the pain inside Koah that shadowed mine.

We broke the kiss to breathe for a second before things began to move faster. Our hands were everywhere, our kiss relentless. We broke for each other—allowed the other inside—and stole a moment for ourselves that existed without a past. And when he began to lay me back on the couch and crawl on top of me, fourteen-year-old Tori allowed it without hesitation.

Things were heated, the room so warm my skin began to glisten with sweat. And then, as quickly as it started, it was over. The front door flew open, and Gracie stared at us wide-eyed.

“Holy shit! I’m so sorry,” she said, covering her eyes and turning around.

Koah and I moved quickly, straightening our clothes and moving away from each other.

“It’s fine. You’re back early,” I said.

She had gone to the library earlier to work on a research paper, and I thought she would be gone longer. Then again, looking at the clock, I saw I had let time escape me.

She turned and faced us again, her cheeks buzzing with embarrassment.

“Gracie, this is my friend Koah. Koah, Gracie,” I introduced them to each other even though I knew Koah remembered Gracie.

I had a feeling Gracie didn’t remember Koah since she was so young when everything happened.

Koah nodded and played along. “Nice to meet you, Gracie.”

She smiled and closed the front door. “I saw your bike out front. You’re ballsy for leaving it out there around these parts.”

“Gracie, language,” I scolded even though I knew she would ignore it.

Koah chuckled. “I’m not worried.”

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