Page 58 of Ward Willing
But what about her emotions?
Would she ever slow down enough to properly grieve?
She never saw what I went through when I lost Elias and Brooke, so I could never model my grief for her. I’m now realizing that perhaps that was to her detriment. We never processed what happened together. Not really. Not beyond a few hugs and murmured words in the thickest of it.
I wish I could ask him,why me?
Why entrust the most important thing in your life to me?
I hunkered down and got through it, but she never saw the days I couldn’t crawl out of bed. I did, eventually. My brothers needed me, so I was there for them. I’m the oldest, and since my father fucked off to France, I’m the one who’s there when they need anything. It’s how it’s always been, and I don’t mind it.
But Zoe? As I hug her, I realize she’s been running from this for four years. The extra credit in high school, being the Valedictorian, graduating early, taking the LSATs later this month, using the fast-track lane for her life like she’s trying to run away.
Because she is.
She stays busy so she doesn’t have to think about her grief, or them.
“Go home,” I say softly. “Sleep, order pizza, watch TV…please.” My voice is hoarse as I let go of her small frame. “Whatever you do, don’t go out.”
She sniffles once and then nods. “Fine.”
I pull my wallet out and hand her my credit card—one of the new ones. I’d had to replace my old ones after my wallet was stolen.
“Money for the pizza. You don’t need to bring me a receipt this time.”
She nods and pockets the card. My brow furrows at her lack of banter.
“On one condition,” she says, looking so frail and tired. “Mark me absent, but don’t excuse my absence.”
“Zoe.”
“Please. It’s not fair.”
I press my lips together, but I don’t argue, knowing I’ll do it anyway, whether she likes it or not. “Fine.”
“I mean it,” she adds, shoving her hands in the pockets of her overalls. My lips twitch as she rolls her eyes and sighs. “So overbearing,” she murmurs, so low I almost think I don’t hear correctly.
I kneel down and pick up the book she dropped, stunned into silence for a few beats.
“Percy Jackson? I thought it was tootritefor you,” I tease, handing the hardback to her as I stand up.
“I was hooked from the first chapter. Though I do wish Percy was a girl. Imagine a series about kickass demigod women?” Her face lights up. “That’s not a terrible idea.”
“And you’re on the last book?”
She shrugs, beginning to walk away from me. “I read all the others in like two days.”
I stand up straighter. “Wait, I want to know what you think ofThe Titan’s Curse.”
“Goodbye, Liam!” she shouts over her shoulder before disappearing around the corner.
Unease settles inside of me, and I debate whether or not to take the rest of the day off so I can be with her. But just then, one of the students from my class pokes his head out.
“Professor Ravage? I have a question about that Walt Whitman theory you explained in class last week?”
I glance back at the hallway once before turning to face Trevor. “Yeah. I’m coming.”
Walking back into the class, I pull my phone out and quickly send a text to Carolina, Elias’s sister, knowing she’ll want to hear from me. I suggest the three of us get together for dinner soon.
